DAY FOUR: First day of forever.

Last night was Christmas morning in the U.S. and we had a chance to video chat with home just as they were getting up to see what Santa brought. The timing was perfect. They got a few little things and a sister all on the same day! It was so fun and they were super excited to see what we got too (Lincoln).

Anna Gray was on a Santa-high for just a minute before she fell apart. Granted, they were exhausted from constant Christmas events since coming home from the airport Friday morning , but mostly she missed her mama. Just about broke my heart.

We said goodbye and a couple more hellos with the grandparents who couldn’t wait to meet their newest.

Totally signing 'I love you' right? ;)

She slept well. Actually, she and Layla both slept from 4PM-4AM. She ate a little baby cereal but will not take her bottle. She doesn’t like to be changed and she did not like the bath. It’s a smidge overwhelming for such a little lady!

On the first day of forever, we headed out bright and early to finalize our adoption.
After a bit of paperwork and dashing back and forth between offices, she is now and forever Lincoln Mabel West!

She is still very pensive. Content, but studious. No sounds, no expression. She stayed wherever we put her with very little movement.
I look forward to seeing her personality start to peek out! I know it’s in there ;)
Poor baby must be so confused and terrified.

After getting back to the hotel, we went on the hunt for food. We landed at Pizza Hut because it was easy. Well, in theory. Layla wasn’t feeling pizza with seafood or “various fruits” or other unidentifiable toppings. Finally, after some heavy gesturing and pointing, we ordered pizza with pepperoni. We think. And it was awesome.

I decided to try a few doughy bites for Lincoln and she came unglued. I mean, seriously unglued. She was laughing hysterically. The more she laughed, the more we laughed, and we stayed in that cycle the whole meal. Strangers were watching us, videoing. People would just walk up to our table and stand there and watch the three of us. We didn’t care. In all our time waiting for her, we had never seen her smile. The big toothy grin and chuckles were a dream come true!!



We had a couple errands to run but again, my girls were worn out and we were back in the hotel for the night by 3:00.  Both girls in bed by 5:00. Jetlag is a dog, I tell ya.

Layla's perspective:

Today was a little slower at first. We went to an office to finalize the adoption. That took about an hour. For lunch we went to Pizza Hut in the mall. Ordering was a bit of a struggle! We just kept pointing to pictures of pepperonis! While we were waiting for our pizza, you started laughing for the first time!! It was so cute! We got some photos and videos. We even gave you a little pizza and that was probably your first solid food.  I have to admit, the pizza was pretty darn good. People were watching us but I didn't care. After some errands, we went back the room- thank goodness. I am so tired.  

DAY THREE: An Liu Li For Christmas!

Is this real? This does not seem real. I convinced our agency we could pull this off. That we could get here this fast and meet our girl on Christmas. Did we actually do it?? Holy crap, it’s Christmas. It’s Lincoln Day!

I was a little frazzled about not having our bag, but only because I was minutes away from meeting my daughter for the first time and not thrilled to look like I had just traveled 30+ hours. {SO DUMB.} But--- You know how some moms labor for hours and kinda look like they’ve been hit by a train when the child actually arrives? That’s supposed to be a bit of a benefit to adoption. That you can make yourself presentable. In theory. It only happened once for me somehow.

They were bringing Lincoln to our hotel at 11:00. We are the only family crazy enough to be here Christmas Day (in this province) so things were a little more ‘lax. We were up, showered and dressed early and now what? I needed to get Layla some breakfast and she found a lovely freshly fried pastry from a street vendor- I was super proud of her for jumping right into the culture! We ran into a department store, I don’t even remember why initially, but stumbled upon some super cheap makeup. I figure a little color is better than nothing, right? So I spend $5 on mascara and blush. Then I pinked up my whole dang face haha. The bathroom light wasn’t great so I put a little on my cheeks and a little more. Using my fingers, bc I didn’t buy a brush. I couldn’t see it so I put a little more. Then I spread a little on my lids so they looked bright and fresh, ahem. A little on my chin maybe. Guys, I was so nervous. I messed with my hair for twenty minutes. I tried smoothing it with my fingers and at one point, I had somehow fashioned it with a shoelace out of desperation. Layla- who is the least vain person on the planet- was like, Mom… stop. I don’t know what was happening.

Surely enough, just before 11, the phone rang.
“Your daughter is here in the lobby. Are you ready for us to come up?”
Oh so calmly, “Sure, absolutely. We’re ready. “ I was so casual and cool, she had no idea. (lies).

This is when Layla and I made our “One minute before” video where I acted like a total weirdo. Like they were legitimately seconds away from knocking, so we couldn’t just delete and re-shoot, ya know? We were being weird because everything about these last moments are weird.



She was in the bathroom, peeking around the door with the camera to get our first look. I wanted to present myself with a bright, welcoming smile and maybe some motherly body language, but the entry way was super small so instead I just basically just scooted back awkwardly while they came in.

We have always been told not to just grab the baby. That will scare her. Give her a minute. Let her warm up. Ease into it.

I eased into it for about 30 seconds before my guide said, “Don’t you want to hold your baby?” and her face added “crazy lady?!“ Oh, right. Yes please. I think I said that for real.

It was all so casual and weird. They just handed me a (teeny tiny perfect precious) baby, told me a little about her and left. Our guide hung around for just a second for me to sign custody papers. I could not focus because my two girls were checking each other out and I wanted in on that.

SEE. (I am so pink!! haha. And I get all frozen bc they wanted a picture of us to take back to Lincoln's ayi.)

We all jumped in the van and had our “first official family photo” and Lincoln’s passport photos made in some make-shift photo studio above a grocery store.

Our guide bid us farewell with plans to pick us up the next day to finalize and that was it… we were alone with our treasure and we could just do whatever we wanted because she was our’s and we were her’s and ohmygosh, worth every ounce of emotion the last 11 months have held.

She’s perfect.

We thought about stripping her down to get a good look at her, but being hungry and needing baby necessities that were still lost in luggage la-la-land, it made sense to head on out.

Plus, it's Christmas!!

It’s a little weird to be two people and an hour later be three people eating lunch like your/her whole world had not just changed forever. To suddenly find myself eating dumplings over a swaddled, sleeping baby who only moments before had only been a dream. We trekked toward Walmart in the cold to get what we needed, but not really sure what that was. And Layla was T I R E D. It had been a super long two days.

We made it back to the room and took off her big ‘ole tattered coat, cutting her in half in an instant. Then removed the first layer of clothes.

Oh. Hi, An Liu Li. I’m your mama.

I see you.
I see your long lashes and your pink lips. I see your soulful big brown eyes and your sweet little hands.
I see your round cheeks begging for kisses and your wispy carefree hair.

Admittedly, I was a little taken aback by how small she actually was. Not just “small for a three year old” but … frail. Hip bones and back bones and skinny skinny arms. Ribs pushed out wide and loose skin around her waist because there isn’t enough flesh to fill it out.

That’s okay. Because this is before.
Before we snuggled you close and stroked your sweet face. Before we nuzzled your neck and kissed your teeny piggies. Before we nourished your body and tucked you in at night. Before warm gentle baths and whispered ‘I love you’s. Before therapies to make you strong. Before dance parties and birthday parties and things of your own. Before you were daughter and a sister and a miracle.

And today? Today starts forever.

Layla's perspective:

Today was probably the best day of my life! Why? Because I met you! Mama and I woke up early so that we could get ready and then we waited by the door. When Sherry and the nanny rang the bell, I got so nervous! The second I saw you, I knew you were perfect. After we got to see you, I held you while Mama signed the paperwork then we left to get your picture for your passport and official adoption decree. After all that was done, we went out to a restaurant. I got dumplings for the first time and I tried meat pies. I'm not going to lie, i don't want to think about what kind of meat it was. After that, we went to Wal-mart for baby supplies. I was SO TIRED so it's all kind of a blur by this point. Mama says this is jet-lag. I don't like it at all. I went to bed at 4pm. I love you!! Your sister. 

DAY ONE (and technically TWO). 31 hours of travel.

We  knew it was going to be chaos to get out the door with only 48 hours notice, but we were willing. We were ready for our girl!

3:00 AM came early after two days of no sleep and packing until midnight. We loaded up jammie-wearing kiddos and all our suitcases. China-bound! Everyone helped get us checked in and it was time for goodbyes. The boys were half asleep and retreating to avoidance because that’s what’s easier for them. They were super sweet, just not really participating in reality. My Brynnie-bear had puddled eyes, but a strong confidence at the same time (she knew she’d be running the show with me gone! ;) ). Anna Gray kept cheering: “Bye Mama! Bye Layla! By plane! Christmas! Lincoln!” but I really don’t think she understood what was happening.  She went straight clingy octopus when it was time for last hugs though. She was tickled and playing, but we had to pry her off me!

That was it! Time to go. First flight left for Chicago at 6:15am where we had a three hour layover. Layla hadn’t been on a plane in quite some time. She has occasional claustrophobia and motion sickness, so we weren’t real sure how the little plane was gonna do her. She loved it- bumps and all! We found a spot to pass the time singing, coloring, and munching our first true deep dish. Just to be safe, we headed to our gate about an hour ahead of time. We checked twice more that our plane to Beijing was on schedule. As the hour drew near, I sent our last texts and prepped for boarding. Except no one was boarding? Weird. Finally I saw others start to line up so we did as well. Waiting, they finally announced the plane wasn’t quite ready and it would be ten more minutes. After about five, they announced we would need to switch to a new gate for a new plane. We followed the herd and were in line to board when I heard someone mention how late it would be by the time we actually arrived… IN SAN FRANCISCO. What the what. Something clicked and I glanced at the board, they had changed our plane to Beijing to a different gate (the one we’d spent two hours at!) and it said last call. Ya’ll, I yelled, “Layla! RUN!!“ and hurdled over a small child. Took his suitcase down. Hurdles never were my strongest event. I didn’t even explain to her what was happening, there was no time. We ran up just as they were shutting the door. Rude desk lady was all, “I bet you’re the Wests. (eye roll). You should have been on time. Now I have to get people off!” I tried to explain and she held her hand in my face. Lady, please get us on that plane! She did, but she was not happy about it. They had given away our seats to folks on stand-by and had to get them off. (blush). They had also moved someone to our actual seat who wouldn’t agree to move again, meaning Layla and I would be separated for the 16 hour flight. Layla said she would be okay but I MAY OR MAY NOT have instructed her to look pitiful and distressed until they figured it out because I was not okay with that.

I nearly had an actual heart attack.

We got our seats but about ten seconds after buckling, Layla watched them take one of our suitcases off the plane. I knew that wasn’t going to end well….

The flight was smooth, the food was good. We each had our own screens but we watched Ghostbusters together twice anyway (I love it so much haha). We also almost peed our pants because dude beside us was seriously OUT for, like, thirteen of the hours. We barely slept, of course. Hop, skip, and a jump later- we were in Beijing. Our bag wasn’t, of course, but we were.

We filed a luggage claim… uh… tricky…grabbed bag #2, re-checked in, went through Chinese security, and finally found our gate. Thankfully, we figured out that everyone getting on the bus was headed to our plane so we got on the bus too. That last 2 ½ hour flight to Xi’an was torturous. Ha. It was fine, we were just exhausted. Layla slept most of it. We landed in Xi’an at 10:30 Saturday night China time, and still had an hour drive to hour hotel. We walked in right at midnight… it was Christmas <3 p="">

<3 p="">

From Layla's perspective (shared with permission). She chose to write to Lincoln:

December 24, 2016

Today was long! We got up at 3 in the morning in Tennessee and left for the airport. There, we said goodbye to Daddy, Cale, Brynn, Roman, and Anna Gray. We stayed at the airport for a while before boarding the plane to Chicago. That flight wasn't very long and the plane was small. We were at the airport in Chicago for over three hours but that was okay, because I got to try Chicago pizza for the first time and I loved it! It was different, but I'm not sure how. The flight to Beijing took forever! Luckily, I had a TV where I watched some movies I hadn't seen before. It was very hard to get comfortable even with the neck pillow. We flew over Canada and the view was amazing! Outside, it was just a huge sheet of ice and snow. However, there were cracks and missing pieces so it had an interesting pattern. I had the window seat and I had to go to the bathroom but I couldn't. The man beside us kept falling asleep and I didn't want to wake him. So I held it for 12 hours basically. In the Beijing airport, we had to go through security again. in Chicago, one of our bags was taken off the plane and it should be here in a day or two. After that, we took a plan from Beijing to Xi'an. It was only two hours since since I was tired it felt so much longer.  A lady named Sherry picked us up from the airport and drove us to the hotel. The drive was amazing! It's Christmas Eve so decorations were everywhere! There were people on the streets, vendors selling stuff, and people riding scooters even in the middle of the night. The hotel lobby is beautiful! We got to our room and straight into pajamas. Tomorrow, we meet you and I CAN'T WAIT!!

<3 p="">