We had Chinese takeout and my order wasn't what I expected (is it weird to say that about Chinese takeout... it's pretty predictable, right?), so I didn't really eat. The baby was bent over in pain from tummy issues and crying uncontrollably. Layla's purple hair (from Crazy Hair Day at school) rubbed off on the new-to-us couch. Cale was on the verge of a major tantrum because he spotted an old firetruck in the yard sale pile that would be the perfect compliment to his firehouse and it's other four firetrucks. Brynn volunteered to "help" carry in the Halloween decorations, resulting in a shattered glass pumpkin that she also
insisted volunteered to clean up. Our new "living" room looks an awfully lot like our old storage building.
When it was all said and done, I found myself sitting on my new purple-stained couch four kids away from my husband for family movie night. Each one with their bowl of my famous "movie mix" (meaning, popcorn and whatever else I can add to it that somehow makes it way cooler than just popcorn. Tonight, it was extra fun with added various candies thanks to Our Sara), each one with a sunggly item of their choosing (did Layla really have to choose a four foot long stuffed snake?), each one adding their own hilarious commentary to Rodgers and Hammerstein. Not long after it started, Nathan's arm reached all the way down to mine behind our little loves and we just smiled.
The move has been physically exhausting. Being a landlord is already stressful. We have a LONG way to go and life doesn't stop so we can make progress. There are still cupcakes to bake, pictures to make, dances to teach, therapy four times a week, birthday parties to attend, paperwork to complete, Drill weekends, and a couple of appointments that I actually flaked on and really made some people mad. Life doesn't stop and it's been pretty overwhelming.
But at the end of the day, I rocked my sweet baby to sleep in her very own room. She has her very own room. For the first time in her life, her momma rocked her to sleep in her very own room. I never really rocked my big kids to sleep when they were little(er), because I didn't want to create a "bad" habit and
have to rock them to sleep every night. What a load of crap. I
hope I get the chance to rock her every night.
I held hands with the sweetest boy under the stars and talked about life. Actually, the stars were plastic and glow-in-the-dark and
I talked about life... he talked about that firetruck in the yard sale pile, but it was one of my very favorite moments.
My pre-shower purple-headed almost little lady, blessed our food and thanked God for clean water to drink, one brother, two sisters, and a microwave. I am so grateful that my children are grateful.
Our sweet, sassy girl found her scrapbook- the one she doesn't remember seeing ever before because she was not quite three years old when it was put in a box. It's not the book full of my memories of her, it's the one that her foster mothers made together before I even existed in her life. Finally,
finally she got to see pictures of a brother and sister that look like her. A LOT like her. I don't think she believed me until now that she has other brothers and sisters that look like her. She was thrilled to have retrieved her dolls and her princess blanket from their two year hibernation... but she chose her scrapbook to snuggle with during the movie.
I know it's sappy. I know, written out, it sounds so ... Perfect? Utopian? It's not at all, of course.
This week was a lot. I cried, I cursed, I painted until my hands were sore and stuck in a permanent claw. It's not that anything about it is flawless. When I smiled back at Nathan on the couch, it's not because everything was wonderfully happy. It wasn't because any brokenness or frustration is instantly absent. It's because
in spite of all that... well, here we are. It's messy and loud and our's and dang it,
that makes me happy.
