Alright, let's back that thing up.

It's no secret I have a flair for the dramatics, but I DON'T ask for help.
I'm doing the duck thing.
Cool, calm, and collected on top.... paddling like hell underneath.

I'm really wanting to stock my house with cokes and cookies. When I'm this wound up, a fridge full of spinach just makes me angry.

I know everybody has their own stuff going on. Explaining, not complaining.

Roman is doing GREAT. Like... great.
Really. He is a bit stubborn from time to time, like most seven year olds I know. He does get tired easily, but that's okay because he wants his mama to hold him. Our only struggles -right now- are communication and food. We are doing pretty well getting through to each other, some things are just a little complicated for google translate or there isn't time to type it in and make sure it's translating correctly. That's really the ONLY time he gets frustrated, when he doesn't understand.  Understandably. The food thing will be another post, another day. He is starting to get out a little, though usually "safe" places. I did test the waters this weekend and he got a bit overwhelmed. Otherwise, he is a HAPPY little guy. Sweet as pie.

He had his first visit to the hematology clinic at Vanderbilt on Friday. His Hgb was better than we expected, his iron level was worse. We did some more in-depth testing and will use those results to move forward. We had a bit of a phone meeting today, will go back for his first transfusion this week, and get our plan in place.

As soon as I walked in the door with Roman and AG, the school called to say Brynn had a fever. While picking her up, Cale's teacher stopped me to say he'd had a pretty rough day.

This was not unexpected...  He was still recovering from jet lag, still adjusting to school, still adjusting to school after China, still adjusting to a new brother at home, sick sister(s) getting extra attention, all his makeup tests on Friday, a scuffle with another student, and a school party he hadn't earned. Anxiety level MAXED OUT.  I think he would have been okay for the rest of the day, if he hadn't seen me. But his class was coming in the front door and I was going out, it was unavoidable.

Details aside, it went from bad to worse. He was NOT going back in that school. He was going to do whatever he had to do to prove it.  By this point- he wasn't safe. The other students were not safe.
I took him home. If you are only a parent to neuro-typical children, you probably would have died of humiliation right there in the elementary school parking lot. But he's not neuro-typical and it's all relative!

Here's the positive from our perspective:
1) This is the first time he's reached this point at this school, so that's good. Also, it could have been much worse, really.
2) I was there. Which is probably why it even occurred to him that leaving was an option, but... I WAS THERE.
3) The school got to see how I/we handle these situations. And also that this is a real possibility for him and not just tales from a parent. There needs to be a plan in place and they know that now.
4) The school joined me in handling the situation and mimicked my response. I am grateful for that.
5) Cale saw that we (the school and I/us) are working together to keep him safe. It was powerful for him to see that we all have his back and respect each other's authority.
6) He was already making eye contact again before we left the school.
7) Once home, he calmly and clearly explained his thought process on what just happened. UM... HUGE. Enormous. Not only did he know what just happened, he was able to put words AND FEELINGS to it. HUGE.
8) His anxiety rose up again Sunday in anticipation of returning to school this morning... and after a bit of a meltdown, he was able AGAIN to say: THIS IS WHAT I'M AFRAID OF...

Ya'll. So, it sucks when your kid falls apart and chooses extreme, socially unacceptable ways to communicate it... but when your kids who falls apart is strong enough and brave enough to say Can you help me put this back together? Oh, the feels.

Wouldn't choose it, but I truly believe good will come from it.

Roman really, really wants to start school and all the pieces are in play to do that. Maybe even tomorrow. He can't wait and I'm a nervous wreck. I realize that's only half a day away, but we haven't actually made a decision. There is no longer an ESL teacher at our school.  He would have to bus to a different school for ESL services and we aren't going to do that. He wants to be with his siblings and we want him to be. More phone calls this afternoon and we'll go from there. But every day, he says, "Roman school today? Please? Roman's turn? Layla, Brynn, Cale and ROMAN school?" 


House is still a mess and probably will be for a while. Gonna have to be okay with that... but when things are spinning out, I'd like to think that is one area I can control. It's not. I can't. Not right now. I don't know if it's the mess itself or my inability to control it that works me up. (Both.) Sorry about the cry for help this morning. Wouldn't do it if I didn't need it! I did and you stepped up and I'm grateful. Ya'll made me laugh and cry and I am so many kinds of grateful for good people.
Ya'll are good people.

Oh and P.S.
Took our Brynnie-girl to the pediatrician this morning. Looks like she did have some sort of infection, but is on the mend. Essential oils and spinach for the win (dang it). Layla is feeling better and Mei Mei Annie still runs the joint.

heyyyyy today sucks.

And it's not even 9am! Happy Monday!

If you have a sec, we could use some good juju, nekkid dancing, dandelions, lucky pennies, prayers to ABBA (God OR the 70s Swedish rock band), we'll take whatever.

Overslept. Two won't eat because they don't feel good.
One crying because they want to to go to school.
Two crying because they DON'T want to go to school. One didn't want to go because they didn't want to deliver their apology note to their principal. The note I helped write. And I mean that I said, "Tell me what you want to say..." and I wrote it, then had the child re-write in their own handwriting because I just did not need to add another battle. P.S. Child accidentally took in the note *I* wrote, not the one the child wrote themselves. Awesome.
One crying over pain I can't identify. The family that doesn't go to the doctor is headed to the doctor for the fourth time in a week because I am at a loss on this one.
I need to find my loud (strong) voice so that another child gets proper medical care. I loathe phone calls and strong voices and educating people who think they don't need to be educated.
Pretty sure I do not have my shite together on my calender and we are missing multiple things completely. Calender is a mess. House is a mess.

So, yeah. Anything you can throw out into the universe would be the bees knees. And I promise I'll update soon without craptastic vagueness. mmmkk. bye.

Still chugging along through the newness over here. Totes exhausted :)

NO IDEA what day it is. As usual in any recovery, day three kinda sucked. That was Labor Day, I think?
Roman didn't go to bed until 4am; Cale and I didn't go to bed AT ALL.
Anything we planned to accomplish that day went out the window.

Once Roman did fall asleep, we couldn't wake him for anything. Finally, at almost 3:00PM, Nathan just scooped him up and brought him to sit on the couch. He ate, slowly, and then BOOM: He found the backyard.

It had rained the previous two days and was finally sunny. I forgot he had no idea what was out there! Trampoline, swing set, basketball goal, bikes, scooters... he got all squeal-y again. GOOD LORD, HE'S CUTE. He played so hard and giggled every step of the way.  And all things were made new again for the other kids because his little laugh is so infectious.

Helping Daddy change the oil...

The three of us enjoyed a snack of melatonin that evening, in an attempt to sleep during the night and get regulated. It worked a little! Thank you tiny little Jesus.

Unfortunately, our Layla-girl woke up the next morning with streptococcus germies for the fifth time in 18 mos. We know what's next...

After our visit to the pediatrician (while I wouldn't necessarily choose to take all five with me, they did pretty darn well!), we grabbed some lunch and headed to the park. Again, he thought that playground was the grandest thing and had an absolute ball. (The other kids are rock stars, btw).

He has been much calmer since we got home- mostly. Now he's just regularly "very active" instead of off-the-charts-active.  He has his first hematology appointment on Friday and we'll start figuring out what all he's got going on with his insides.  He had just been transfused when he came to us. I'm sure that fresh blood, "excitement", and some coping skills played a huge role in his energy/behavior in China.  Interested to find out what we will see after his first transfusion at home.  He eats ALL THE TIME. I suspect it's attachment related (familiar road with the twins...), maybe Thal-related, maybe just a hungry boy, or maybe curious about all these new foods. Which, by the way, I have been SO impressed with his willingness to try.

He is equally eager when it comes to learning English. He repeats everything- which really makes you hyper-aware of your own choices! He now snaps and points when he says "SHOES." Amber clears throat awkwardly.

Most freely-used phrases:
Sorry (enter any name).
Good job!/Good job? 
Okay?! 
{Any name's} turn  ! or ?
Excuse me- Good boy. (He says both, as if they go together, bc I say 'Good boy' after he says excuse me.)
Please, thank you, and you're welcome.
Spiderman. (Nathan brought home Spiderman unders and he put them on IMMEDIATELY! He loves them!)
Cale Benjamin.
Roman feed Walker?! (dog)
OH MY WORD. We must say this more than I realize, it was also AG's first southern sayin'.

Speaking of, Anna Gray and Roman conversations are hilarious.
He assumes she's speaking English, so he copies her. She assumes the same of him. So their dialogue is a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and jibber jabber. And they totally understand each other.

They did have a bit of competition over Mommy during the long wait in the doctor's office. It didn't last long, but since Nathan was back to work and I was on my own, it was their first opportunity to test it out. They decided coloring together was easier.

He ran out the front door (in the rain) to get to Nathan when he got home from work yesterday! He's definitely warmed up to him and he seems to be attaching seamlessly. However, attaching likely isn't seamless at 7yrs old with this much change. After a week and a half with me in-country, he asked another lady to pick him up and called her Mommy. So... I'm not convinced that he knows we are his versus he knows we are familiar. That's exactly why we aren't introducing him to everyone just yet.

It will be a little tricky to navigate when he starts school, but we will have protective boundaries in place. He has really missed the others today while they've been back in school. I'm definitely ready to get back into a routine and get my house back.  I can't seem to get caught up right now between everyone needing extra attention, Layla sick, and still not resting more than a few hours a night. Gonna be a few more days of mess before I can get this ship up and running again!

So glad to have his mess :)