DAY SIX: gifts!

Santa came!!

Sort of.

Santa had limited space so Santa had to get creative. I basically wrapped all the little things that would normally be in their stockings and a few pieces of paper telling them what they had at home, ha. We brought our little six inch tree that’s normally part of our table centerpiece and still, it held just the right dash of Christmas magic. There will never be another Christmas like this. This is once in a lifetime. Just me and two of my girls on the other side of the world, huddled around a tiny tree in a hotel room dripping with gladness. Just grateful for this moment and togetherness. It‘s all we really need. #wecouldhavemissedthis

Santa is extra sappy this year.

Today we went to see the Terracotta Warriors! I’m so glad that they happened to be in Lincoln’s province. Layla had been studying ancient China for the last two years at school coincidentally so she couldn’t wait to get there. Plus, it’s the closest thing to any kind of real archaeological dig she’s seen in real life and with a planned future in paleontology (for now…), that was kind of big deal. Plus, you know, they’re sort of amazing anyway.

On the way, Sherry gave us a gift from Lincoln’s orphanage. A sterling silver bracelet engraved with her Chinese name and DOB. Love love love. Just wonderful. They also had one made to keep there, so when we do a heritage trip later- we can come visit and see that they match. The nicest! On the day we met her, they also gave us what’s basically a scrapbook of her life there. Pictures of her over the years, notes, updates on her development, little doodles the nannies drew for her. Unbelievable and priceless. Also included a disk full of hundreds of pictures- that I can’t see yet- but I can’t wait. This is such a good program!

So the warriors-- We really really enjoyed it but we just about froze our cahoones off, even with our cold weather gear that had only arrived the day before. Thank goodness it did. I would have felt pretty bad if we’d driven all the way out there and been too miserably cold to stay. We are kinda weather sissies, us two. But we did it and loved it.

Layla had been baby-sitting for me during the entire adoption process so she could have her own money in China. Half the time I was in the same room/building as her, but leaving her in charge so I could focus on whatever task. Worked for both of us!  She was excited to pick out a mini warrior to bring home using her money. Sherry took us to the restaurant above the museum. I’m sure it was a set up somehow, but whatever, it was a pretty easy meal and authentically Chinese. Well, “easy” with Lincoln turning into a break dancing octopus who likes to grab/throw things! Layla got a little cuisine-shy all of a sudden and feasted basically on sticky rice. I tried to be brave! I’m being much braver this time. Sometimes I close my eyes though.

Talked to my babes at home again. Anna Gray did much better. She was so happy to see us that she sang ‘Happy Birthday’ six times for no real reason other than joy, as well as Doc McStuffins and a bit of Hamilton. My tail on the other hand… he cried. A lot. Poor buddy. I’ve never really been away from him in the two years he’s been home and I’m in China off all places. That’s a lot for his little heart to take! He wanted to come with us so badly, which is basically the worst idea ever, but I totally get it. Praying for his heart to feel safe and loved and know that his mama will be home soon. Miss my littles!!!

Goodnight.

December 28, 2016. Layla's perspective.

Last night Santa came! I got the Hamilton mixtape, a ukelele, earwarmers with built in headphones, a movie and cute little panda slippers! Today we went to the terracotta warriors, something I've been wanting to see for a long time! There I got a miniature goldern warrior and we got you a mini warrior that looksl ike the real thing- faded paint and all. We ate the lunch abouve the gift shop in a cafe. It was buffet style, so we got whatever we wanted. Sherry got me some noodles which I guess were okay, but I really liked the steamed buns... even if they tasted a little strange. 

SAPPY SAPPY JOY JOY.

I'm not exactly sure how come if you share anything, you are expected to share everything or else you get you some new labels. So funny. Guys, you can just share what you want to share and it doesn't make you fake or liars or anything because it's not real life. It's just bits and pieces and you don't owe anyone anything. Just like Lin only wrote the parts that were a musical, because free country and all.

So here's the deal--
There's been some crying and some attention-seeking behavior and maybe some adult words that didn't come from an adult, but I just don't usually take pictures of fits or rages and the like. Doesn't seem like the opportune time and I don't feel obligated to tell about them in order for anyone to believe we are flawed. Duh- we're flawed. Flaws all over the place. Suitcases full of flaws. We're okay with it :)


On Friday, I kept my little tail home for Roman Day (also, bc there are SO many viruses going around and lord help us, we do not need him to get sick). He's had a bit of a tough time, not necessarily as a result of Lincoln's adoption but just ALL THE THINGS taking our attention right now. So I felt like he desperately needed some one-on-one.

                                                            The infamous 'gold hair'....

I learned a lot about what is important to him that we maybe didn't realize. Interesting, interesting.

Everyone in Cale's bubble knows his love language is gifts. It literally matters none what the gift is (though he prefers hot wheels, sunglasses, and anything edible). Giving him anything equals love to Cale. Easy breezy to figure him out.

I'm not sure I could have pegged Roman's before Friday. His attachment struggles look differently than our others', so I think it sometimes goes unnoticed as the root of his behaviors somehow. I mean, it should be obvious, but because he's always silly & smiling I think even we forget.

We dropped Cale off at church and then I gave him the go-ahead. First of all, he only wanted to be HOME. He didn't want to go anywhere or doing anything spectacular. He wanted to be home. With me (and Lincoln, but she went to sleep). He tested the waters by asking to stop for a donut on our way- which he doesn't even particularly like- he just wanted to see if this was really a "yes" day. When we got home with the donut he didn't eat, he asked if we could play a game. We played for a long time and had a blast! He also asked me to do a lot for him, that he is completely capable of doing himself, to see if I would (I did, of course). And if I would make the time for things he wanted- like cooked onions on his salad. How many times have I told him no to that, I wonder? How many times did I say we didn't have time? Lessons learned.

Toward the end of Roman Day, I took two phone calls back-to-back and he made it pretty clear that he didn't care for that. More lessons for Mama. Oh man, I am still always learning to apply what I KNOW about these trauma kiddos. 

He wanted the Chinese babies to have matching ponies.

We don't do Valentine's, really.

This girl and this chocolate.

So for Christmas, Brynn had a $100 gift card. She spent 100% of the $100 on everyone else in this house and $0 on herself. She bought me these chocolates and waited for them to arrive from Germany. But before I could try any... someone else helped themselves to all but three. 

:::pause for appropriate face::: 

My question: Did you really eat all of those?

Response: Not all of them. I spit a bunch of them out because I didn't like them.

Okay, cool. ha. *Luckily* they are also sold at Aldi so she was able to replace them for me ;)

Anyway, we kinda make today a family thing just because it's an excuse for a theme and I do love a theme. Totally cheap out though. Don't get me wrong... we've done some Pinterest-y kid stuff in the past, way back when there were ONLY four.

Nowadays, Valentine's looks like a last minute trip to the dollar tree for some snaazzzyyy old school cards you just write your friend's name on and call it a day. #throwback #80sbaby

We were already having puffins for breakfast, but I dazzled them with sprinkles and put food coloring in the milk bc we're fancy (and on a time-crunch) but... but... here's my favorite.

NEW TRADITION.

Last night, setting the table for dinner. Kids were fussing over dinner music, tattling over who was sneaking early bites, arguing over which one would bless our food (really? Really.) yada yada. So we finally get seated and it's maybe a 'lil somber tone. Usually in this situation we start some sort of trivia or Q&A to get the conversation going. In order to shift the tide, we decided each person should tell why every other person at the table was special to them "in honor of Valentine's".

GUYS.

So many salty tears with our dinner. Little flawed humans are still pretty amazing humans.
P R E C I O U S, all of 'em.

We also do "put ups" sometimes-- when you have put someone down... you put them back up-- so a couple of kids were kind of confusing the two, which makes sense. More like "You have a good smile." which is kind, instead of a particular special something between the two, but that's alright.

Others were overwhelmed in the sweetest way trying to explain what another person means to them or hearing what they mean to someone else. There were alligator tears.

me-"Why are you crying??"
kid- "I'm just so happy."

THIS IS LOVE, YA'LL.

It's not perfect and it's not always easy.... but sometimes it is.
Sometimes love is playing basketball without a goal. Sometimes love is sharing your glue gun. Sometimes love is hugging someone after they hurt you. Sometimes love is doing something they said you couldn't do. Sometimes love is going on adventures. Sometimes love is choosing joy when you have every reason to be sad. Sometimes loves is reading out loud. Sometimes love is cooking onions. Sometimes love is pink milk and the Dollar Tree.


I'm choosing to share this because life is short. Just taking a minute to tell people you love them and tell them why was sort of magical. AND THEN LISTEN to why they love you back... I learned so much about what was important to them by listening to each of my people. And there were some surprises.

Valentine's is silly. But love does crazy things.

                                                       (some of) my sweethearts:

C's bus comes at 6:15 {thumbs down}. And yes, B is using an empty formula container for her Valentine's 'box' because when she grows up, she wants to be a "creative genius" and you gotta start somewhere.

This new smile though.... haha. I think she's probably just excited about that bag I made her bought at the dollar store.

DAY FIVE: A little adventure.

We had big plans to do nothing but explore today, BUT… finally (!) our other bag has made it’s way to Xi’an! Woot! What an ordeal. Just don’t lose your luggage in China, ya’ll. The second half of the ordeal was figuring out how to get them from the airport to us, an hour away. Airport wouldn’t deliver, guide and driver weren’t available to take us or pick it up, hotel didn’t have a shuttle. Our guide wanted us to just leave it there until FRIDAY. No-can-do. I need clean unders, I need our food, I need clothes, I need my girls’ Christmas gifts, I want my stuff!!

After two hours of back and forth,  I told her we were taking a taxi. Instead, she helped us hire a private driver to take us out there and back for even less. It was an easy 3hr round trip with just a few minutes on the side of the road while the driver fueled up- why did we have to get out of the car exactly??- and TOTALLY worth $25. Shew, that feels better. Our room just got a whooole lot smaller, but it feels so much better to have our things. And now Santa can come (back) to China!

Somehow that managed to take up most of our day and wear us out.  We made the easy mac I had packed and it was utterly disgusting. I did have some pureed fruits and veggies to add to LiLi’s cereal, that was a bit shocking for her! Haha. We ended up staying in the room and ordering $15 worth of room service that night out of convenience. I felt really guity spending that much on just the two of us, but when it arrived it was an insane amount of food! I ordered hot beef noodle soup - it was amazing- and enormous. Enough for four people probably and one of the best things I’ve eaten. Layla had a burger she couldn’t even get through half of. It was a real bummer our fridge didn’t work and we had no way to keep the leftovers… we could have eaten on it for two more days!

Tomorrow, Terracotta Warriors! So excited!

Layla's perspective:

Today the luggage we lost finally arrived in Xi'an! Wen went to get it from the airport and while there, I saw something really cool... a Chinese copy of The Cursed Child! Mama agrees if we see it again I should get it. When we got back tot he hotel we ordered room service. I ordered a burget and it was huge. I obviously couldn't finish it. I am so excited for tomorrow!!! Terracotta Warriors!!