HERE WE GO!!!!!

WE HAVE OUR LETTER OF APPROVAL FROM CHINA!!!

I seriously never thought this day would come.
Longest 92 days OF MY LIFE. 

Elated doesn't even begin to describe it!!

I don't know how to type the noises that we are making :) :) :)

holy moly.
And also... HOLY MOLY!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, 
our SON...



ROMAN JUDE ZHENG WEST!

^A little {slightly creepy} entertainment ^

His name:

The short version is- eight years ago when we realized I was going through menopause (at the ripe old age of 24), we had already started the process to adopt domestically. Though we chose adoption before my diagnosis, I still grieve(d) the idea that I could choose to get pregnant if we wanted to. I grieved the option. One day in particular, I was struggling, and God sent me Romans 8:28.

While considered a "popular" verse now, it wasn't one I kept in my tool belt back then. 

To me, God was saying... if you will walk this path I have laid out for you, I will have Roman waiting for you at the end of the journey. Weird, right? Weird but true. 

I just knew, I have always known, that "Roman" would be the end of this crazy/beautiful road. 

We didn't seek out "Roman" or plan ahead to name our last child Roman... but all of a sudden, there he was. Our last.  Our Roman. Throughout this roller coaster of adoption, friends and family (several who did not know his name) kept sending verses from Romans for encouragement.

Roman(s). Good stuff.

Also, had I gotten pregnant during that dark time 8 years ago ... that baby would be the same age as our Roman.

God for the win.

Jude was a name Nathan suggested for Cale way back when. We both like it, and it has some small quirky meanings for us. For me, I wanted a J for my Jason. (They have other ties to one another, as well.) The Beatles nod is an added bonus, but not intentional. We thought about leaving it out, but he just feels like he has a little Jude in him!

Zheng is part of his Chinese name, given to him by the orphanage staff. We do not know his name at birth (nor his actual birthday, we will keep the one they gave him), but this is the only name he has ever known. It was important for us to keep that for him. It is pronounced like "Chung". 

So, that's that. Roman Jude Zheng West. 

He did ask for an American name, and we think it's a good one :)

What's next:

We got a bit of a jumpstart on the next set of paperwork. It's all still quite confusing to me, despite the other China moms explaining it to me 477 times. Basically, Cale, Roman, and I apply for visas and get everything shuffled between the US and China. Once all that gets approved, we apply for travel approval (TA) and a Consulate appointment! (CA) We have already been approved to expedite these steps, so we could be (should be... but ya know) traveling in a matter of weeks!

WE REALLY ARE COMING, ROMAN!!

Runaway.

run v. (r-uh-n)

1. to move swiftly on foot so that both feet leave the ground

2. to retreat rapidly

3. to move without hindrance or restraint

4. to go about from place to place

5. to go when in trouble or distress

6. to make a short, quick trip

7. to move freely

We are so grateful we had the opportunity to run away to our "Florida house" for a few days. We desperately needed to catch our breath for a minute and just be. 

Adoption is hard, ya'll.

Obviously, the paperwork is strenuous, the fundraising is stressful, the waiting is desperate-- all true if everything goes smoothly. This hasn't gone smoothly. It has been our hardest adoption journey by far. On paper, we have hit delay after delay after delay after delay with no rhyme or reason. 

We know all the right things to think/say, we know we know we know. But it's maddening. 

In theory, he should already be home. 

What we expected to take about 30 days, we are still waiting on 86 days later. And no one can tell us why and there's nothing we can do about it. 

Our current status is "match reviewed"... the last step, on the cusp of approval. Normally, for NON-expedited adoptions,  it takes just a few days for approval once you reach this step. We've been there for three weeks.

MADDENING. 

Of course, on top of everything else- we don't really know the status of his health. We think he is doing okay right now, but we aren't getting much info and that's really, really tough. 

So, we impulsively ran away to the beach for a minute. And we flew $1 kites and we got sunburned and we lived on sandwiches and cereal and did you know Cale can talk for nine hours strait? And that Brynn knows every word to every song, ever? Still, we held hands and jumped over waves, we saw dolphins and Dierks Bentley, and for just a minute we forgot how hard it all is. 

Please come home soon, sweet boy. Margot the Cargo has one more seat available and it's your's. There are crabs to catch and sandcastles to build and there is a wave out there with your name on it.  

Backtrack to the Weekend {Sunday} & June column

Sunday/actual Father's Day-- Nathan was back at drill so the kids and I joined our DSAMT (Down Syndrome Association of Middle Tennessee) friends at the zoo!  We were treated to a catered lunch and the chance to pet a skunk. The girls crafted to their little hearts content (Cale felt more like playing on a rock with his cars, but he was just as happy.)  Anna Gray was a little too hungry for pleasantries when we first arrived, but once we filled her up, she was good to go! She got to see some of her friends with extra chromosomes, meet some new ones, and play all the live long day.

Showing me her red tongue.

It was perfect-summer-hot mixed with perfect-icee-cool and we had a blast.  THANKS, DSAMT! You are so good to your families and we are grateful!


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Only related by the fact that they are both about children...
My column for the paper this month:

COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES: Gender Neutral

I remember the day I had my first (and only, to date) ultrasound to determine the sex of my unborn child. I was sure the baby was going to be a boy. Everyone who knew us said boy. Having little brothers, I was comfortable with boys.  Positively, definitely going to be a boy. Thank goodness, because despite growing up one, I felt clueless about actually raising a girl. My husband grew up in a house of boys. So obviously, we were having a boy.

We were walking into the hospital, letting our brains do the walking, because our bodies were way too nervous to remember how.  The ultrasound technician worked his cold goo around and then said, “Okay, Mom, what’s it gonna be?! 85% of moms know what they’re having before I tell them!”

First of all, according to the guy with goo and my hormones, I was already a bad mom. I didn’t even know the sex of my child, for goodness sake! Second of all, it’s a girl. She’s a girl. Holy cow, we were having a girl.

I have no idea why I was so shocked initially, but it took about 3.8 seconds for that shock to turn into swooning and daydreaming. A girl. We were showered with pink and ruffles and hair bows. It was all very sweet. Too sweet. So we bought her a fishing pole and some camouflage.

Three girls and one boy later (with another sweet boy joining us soon), I’d like to think we keep our house fairly “gender neutral”- not for the purpose of actually staying neutral, but for the sake of diversity and removing limitations.  My ten-year-old girl has dinosaurs on her bed and my seven-year-old boy has a Barbie under his. Everybody plays with cars, everybody plays dress up.  We encourage them all to learn to bake, learn to use power tools, learn what makes you happy. No one is stuck in a box and everyone can be a superhero.

However, in a pack of their own, things change drastically.

My rough and tumble little girl walks into her dance class and immediately starts twirling and giggling, squealing, and prancing with delight. A group of boys let my son play with them at the park and he turns into a grunting, spitting, testosterone machine- suddenly wanting to tackle everything he sees.

Hyper-feminine, hyper-masculine and everything in between: Playing is how children learn about who they are, it’s how they determine their own strengths and weaknesses and discover how the world works. Girls and boys who care for their baby doll learn empathy. Boys and girls who crash cars together learn cause and effect.  We want our kids to be gentle and tough, to be brave and cautious, and to… well, color outside the lines.

Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails… sugar and spice and everything nice. That’s what children are made of!

Oddly enough, struggling with that ^^ myself today. 

I'm a recovering people pleaser (is that okay?), and still learning to trust my spiritual discernment over the fear of judgement. Getting better though! ;)

Keep praying for adoption news-  PRETTY PLEASE!