She's pretty sweet when she isn't breaking the law.

One year.

It really sinks in, you know,

when I see it... in stone.

But you went away.

How dare you?

I miss you.

They say I'll be okay,

but I'm not going to ever get over you.



Sticky Fingers.

As some of you know, we have always had food struggles with Cale. The severity of it comes in phases- right now, it happens to be particularly bad. Sneaking food, hoarding, eating as if he may never get the chance again... There is NO WAY he is that hungry ALL.THE.TIME.

These issues can be autism-related, but can also be related to attachment/adoption. We aren't sure which his is stemming from and we aren't sure how to "fix" it at the moment. And recently, Brynn has decided she would like to participate as well. Except, she's only been sneaking food.

At the suggestion of a couple different specialist and other adoptive parents, we created a food basket with the help of Cale's teacher. Basically... there is a basket in the fridge, filled with healthy snacks that they choose, that they can access at any time without asking. In theory, once they realize that they are, in fact, going to be fed on a regular basis and that they are "safe", the behaviors will stop.

Cale HAS stopped hoarding for the time being, which is good. But they also ate 16 string cheeses in less than 12 hours, 6 yogurts, a bag of apples, a bag of carrots....  GONE. And still cleaned their plates at each meal. It's gone on like that for over a week. It's not healthy... or affordable.  And now he is having meltdowns because he wants things that are NOT in the basket, even though he has a ton of snacks to choose from AND he picked what went in there.

Also, apparently, stealing food from our own house was a gateway drug for Brynn.
Tuesday, I got a text from Nathan that said, "If your purse feels lighter, it's because a certain 5-yr-old helped herself to $20" Next text:  "Make that $40".

Yesterday, I decided to treat them with a little Frosty before we got groceries. Cale had a good day at school (although, we did learn before school that he and Sam's Club do NOT get along), Layla had gotten to go to a skating party for Accelerated Readers, and Brynn had been an awesome shopping buddy for me ALL day. While buckling in to leave the grocery, Brynn asked "Mommy, do you want to see a beautiful ring from my jewelry box?". Of course. Except... I know what's in her jewelry box and that ring wasn't. I asked again where she got it... "Your jewelry box?". Nope. I counted and gave her one last opportunity to tell me where she got it...

So, we all unbuckle and head back in. Ugh. I explained why her choice was wrong and that she needed to return the ring and apologize. She did, very well actually... and then she burst into tears as she walked away. I took her hand, sat down on a bench, and hugged her. "Brynn, I'm sorry you're embarrassed. You made a bad choice, but you did the right thing to fix it."  I figured that was enough of a consequence since she was upset. But then she screamed, "I want that riiiinnngg!!".

"Are you crying because you made a bad choice?"
"I.WANT.THAT.RING!!"

Um... no. Now I'm angry.
She cried the whole way home. I even asked if she wishes she didn't take the ring and she said she does, because I took it away from her.

I know we aren't the firsts to deal with this. This child... lawsy. She is SO impulsive and couldn't give a rat's rear end about consequences. Ever. We don't even know what the consequence should be for this- natural or otherwise. She doesn't care. She doesn't listen if we talk (literally- she starts singing or telling a story in the middle of our sentence and doesn't hear a word of it). Time-outs, taking things away... nothing phases her.

So, parents- what did/do you do? Specifically ADHD parents- what consequences are successful for your child? 

I don't know if it's the time of year (CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY busy right now), their age, the fact that they are trying to sort out their emotions about their adoption/loss... but these two are trying to kill us. Help, please.