Backtrack to the Weekend {Sunday} & June column

Sunday/actual Father's Day-- Nathan was back at drill so the kids and I joined our DSAMT (Down Syndrome Association of Middle Tennessee) friends at the zoo!  We were treated to a catered lunch and the chance to pet a skunk. The girls crafted to their little hearts content (Cale felt more like playing on a rock with his cars, but he was just as happy.)  Anna Gray was a little too hungry for pleasantries when we first arrived, but once we filled her up, she was good to go! She got to see some of her friends with extra chromosomes, meet some new ones, and play all the live long day.

Showing me her red tongue.

It was perfect-summer-hot mixed with perfect-icee-cool and we had a blast.  THANKS, DSAMT! You are so good to your families and we are grateful!


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Only related by the fact that they are both about children...
My column for the paper this month:

COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES: Gender Neutral

I remember the day I had my first (and only, to date) ultrasound to determine the sex of my unborn child. I was sure the baby was going to be a boy. Everyone who knew us said boy. Having little brothers, I was comfortable with boys.  Positively, definitely going to be a boy. Thank goodness, because despite growing up one, I felt clueless about actually raising a girl. My husband grew up in a house of boys. So obviously, we were having a boy.

We were walking into the hospital, letting our brains do the walking, because our bodies were way too nervous to remember how.  The ultrasound technician worked his cold goo around and then said, “Okay, Mom, what’s it gonna be?! 85% of moms know what they’re having before I tell them!”

First of all, according to the guy with goo and my hormones, I was already a bad mom. I didn’t even know the sex of my child, for goodness sake! Second of all, it’s a girl. She’s a girl. Holy cow, we were having a girl.

I have no idea why I was so shocked initially, but it took about 3.8 seconds for that shock to turn into swooning and daydreaming. A girl. We were showered with pink and ruffles and hair bows. It was all very sweet. Too sweet. So we bought her a fishing pole and some camouflage.

Three girls and one boy later (with another sweet boy joining us soon), I’d like to think we keep our house fairly “gender neutral”- not for the purpose of actually staying neutral, but for the sake of diversity and removing limitations.  My ten-year-old girl has dinosaurs on her bed and my seven-year-old boy has a Barbie under his. Everybody plays with cars, everybody plays dress up.  We encourage them all to learn to bake, learn to use power tools, learn what makes you happy. No one is stuck in a box and everyone can be a superhero.

However, in a pack of their own, things change drastically.

My rough and tumble little girl walks into her dance class and immediately starts twirling and giggling, squealing, and prancing with delight. A group of boys let my son play with them at the park and he turns into a grunting, spitting, testosterone machine- suddenly wanting to tackle everything he sees.

Hyper-feminine, hyper-masculine and everything in between: Playing is how children learn about who they are, it’s how they determine their own strengths and weaknesses and discover how the world works. Girls and boys who care for their baby doll learn empathy. Boys and girls who crash cars together learn cause and effect.  We want our kids to be gentle and tough, to be brave and cautious, and to… well, color outside the lines.

Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails… sugar and spice and everything nice. That’s what children are made of!

Oddly enough, struggling with that ^^ myself today. 

I'm a recovering people pleaser (is that okay?), and still learning to trust my spiritual discernment over the fear of judgement. Getting better though! ;)

Keep praying for adoption news-  PRETTY PLEASE!