You should prepare to see a lot of these this summer.
I'm down to the last batch of baby clothes my big girls wore that will be handed down to Anna Gray. I don't know if it's because it's been so long since one of my sweet little girls has worn these things, or it's because I know it's the last time one of my sweet little girls will wear them, or if it's because it's another way that connects them as SISTERS. But it just makes my heart swell..
There's nothing particularly special about this dress, but definitely something special about the pics I have of Layla wearing it.
She had just turned two. We went to church with my grandparents every Sunday. She was picking apples from their apple tree and I took pictures of them for their anniversary. Treasured pictures, all of them.
The same picture my grandfather now has posted outside of his room at his assisted living facility.
Her little round cheeks, pink puckered lips, chubby little arms, and long blonde hair.
Sound familiar?
I just love it.
I love the memories etched in my mind that happen to involve this dress.
And I love this.
Anna Gray, running and playing with a ball.
How long we waited and worked and prayed for her to RUN and PLAY with a ball!
And knowing that she almost didn't get the chance to do that.
Pics of our beautiful Layla from the talent show {Thanks to our family friend, Jamie.}
And just for fun, a little throwback to the last time she channeled Dorothy to see the live show: TIME FLIES.
She's super. And now she's ready for 5th grade.
Library Award (Some things never change... remember the post about her excessive reading? And Kindergarten, when she read 203 books instead of 100?) She also took home "Lead Actress"/Highest grades in her classroom awards, perfect attendance, and Outstanding Achievement in Writing (also old hat, if you remember all her journal entries I've posted over the years!).
All the 4th graders in her school wrote songs and submitted them to the Country Music Hall of Fame. Her's was chosen and they came to the school to perform it! Pretty cool, huh? I still haven't heard it, but we should be getting it on disk soon.
Sticking to the school topic, here's my May column that printed 5/13.
COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES: Teacher of the Year?
Our first year of homeschooling is coming to an end.
There’s always an awkward pause when people ask me how it’s
going or if we were successful. It’s such an open question, with too many ways
to answer. (And my natural gift of
sarcasm can get in the way here. You feel me, home educators?!) More specific
questions are easier…
Was it hard?
Heck yes, it was hard. It’s hard to be around anybody 24 hours a day, every day. It’s
hard to figure out your kids’ strengths and weaknesses, their learning style,
their motivators. It’s hard to find balance between your Parenting Pants and
your Teaching Pants. It’s hard to focus
on school when you know there is laundry to do, dishes to wash, errands to run,
appointments to complete. It’s hard to give yourself grace when nothing goes as planned.
Will they go back to
school next year?
This is kind of like asking my kids who were adopted about
their “real” parents. Of course they will go back to school, it’s the law. (Damn you, sarcastic genes!) If you are
asking whether or not they will be enrolled in traditional public school, the
answer is: Eh, dunno yet. We can make
that choice whenever we/they are ready. Not necessarily based on any calendar
date. I do know that FOR OUR FAMILY, homeschooling is not a permanent choice;
but for this season of life, it was the right choice.
Do you do school every
day?
We LEARN every day. And I define that as soaking in
knowledge or evolving as a human being, not necessarily figuring out how to get
a right answer. Sometimes that is sitting down and doing math worksheets or
writing spelling words. But sometimes, we learn math by doubling our dinner
recipe and spelling by writing letters to birth parents.
Are they “behind”
academically?
I don’t know really. What I do know, is that this school
year at home changed my kids completely.
Our personal reasons for taking this route (you’d likely never get the same
answer from any two homeschooling families) were related more to
attachment/bonding, self-esteem, and life skills. Things that come naturally to
most little ones, DON’T to my kids. They have to be taught. And re-taught. And
we just didn’t think they were going to be able to move forward academically
until that foundation was solid. During this time, they have learned to believe
in themselves. They have learned to identify feelings and communicate. They have learned that they are fearfully and
wonderfully made, that they have a voice, and that they matter. They know that it’s
okay to acknowledge differences, to celebrate them. They know they are safe,
they know they are loved, they know that their parents will do anything for
them.
And I know that
I’ve done what’s best for my kids."
There is so much more I want to say, but obviously have limited space in the paper. And I'd re-write some of it, but there it is anyway.
I am SO proud of these kids. I don't know how they would stack up against a standardized test. Maybe great? Maybe not? I don't know. They are not memorization kids. I was, Layla is. We memorize and knock the tests out of the park and it looks super successful on paper. The twins, well... they color outside the lines. And I love that about them. It would be easy for me to list out all the things they still struggle with, but when I look back at where we/they started, I am really happy and at peace with how far we've/they've come. They have learned so much and they are going to do great big things in this world. WAY TO GO, BRYNN & CALE.
I give you the awards for Most Improved, Biggest/Toughest Hearts, Apple-Fraction Achievement, Most Expressive, Excellence in Creative Reading and Most Determined.
You are awesome.
I think they are ready to go back to public school next year, they aren't so sure. We have all summer to decide, so we'll just keep chugging on with THIS in mind and see what happens.
Sweet Annie finished her first go at preschool! She LOVES it. We knew she would take off and she did (in more ways than one). I was so proud seeing her sit (and occasionally run off, but always come back to sit...) with her classmates and sing her songs and do the motions with them. She's a little peanut in there, but she holds her own!
She got the award for Most Huggable, naturally.
I can't wait to see how much she grows over the next couple of years!!
Summer, here we come!!
And of course, we want that summer to include a trip to China...
There have been some steps forward- baby steps- but steps nonetheless.
Our agency transfer is FINALLY complete and we got our new approval with our new agency. We finally exist in the system now. At least it's something, even if we don't know what it means yet. We are hoping/praying/trusting/desperate for it to mean that we are now being translated and will hear something good shortly, but we don't know.
However, we are the ONLY family being allowed to move forward right now. None of the other families that were formerly with AAI (agency #1) are getting anywhere and won't for a while. They are all being required to change agencies AGAIN so that they are all with the same agency. I don't understand and I can only imagine their devastation. We are grateful for even the smallest step forward for our own family, but so sad for their's!
Here's a specific list to focus on, if you're willing and able:
RJZ's health. We paid for a medical update and have gotten no response. We would really like the peace of mind of knowing that he is hanging in there. Plus, getting that update could help spark forward movement for our approval.
Now that we are moving just a bit- it needs to move faster. It really, really does. Yes, we are anxious and impatient and ready to have him home, but his life depends on proper medical care.
Our SW who is having to clean up the mess left behind by AAI, none of which is her fault. I know it's super stressful for her as well, and I am admittedly driving her insane.
The other former-AAI families.
And if you follow me on IG, you've already seen this... but I want to end on something positive. Can't get enough of her, even if it is the song we've all had enough of.
Happy to have gotten pics of RJZ with his birthday cake we sent!
And happy to see how loved he is by his foster family (we knew that already because we've seen it on video, but it warms my heart!). His foster sister that he is leaning on is available for adoption and I am determined to be her voice!
Obviously an old picture, but I have new ones :)
She has Thalassemia like RJZ and a couple other diagnoses with it. I can get you more info!!
Look how much they love each other!
She could absolutely blossom at home with a family and better medical care.
She needs you to see her, shout for her... go get her.
Praying that I get a chance to meet her and report back how amazing she is.
We are still waiting to hear back about our sweet boy's medical update and, of course, still waiting on word from China. Drowned our frustrations in mexican food last night and ready to be positive again. Plus, we're going to be a very busy the next few days with little time to obsessively fret.
Choosing to believe it will be SOON!
I will basically spend my day stalking my own email for our update and pics of him with the birthday cake we sent. It's kind of crazy what that little ding on my phone can make me do. I was never good at hurdles before.
In the adoption world, adopting a child close in age to one of your other children is called "twinning" or artificial twinning. We now have three seven-year-olds.
Triplets.
It's no secret that our other two struggle with their adoption and attachment. We fully anticipate that possibility/probability when RJZ comes home, as well. At least for a little while. We have no expectations of a fairy tale. His whole life is about to be turned upside down. Everything he knows will change. We know that life in a family is better for him than life in an orphanage, but he doesn't. And that life that is his, is just gone. That's a lot. A lot, a lot.
I keep thinking about if it were Cale instead. What if it were Cale, who after living this life since infancy- good, bad, whimsical, imperfect- it doesn't matter. It's his. And one day, we just sent him on a train and dropped him off with new people. People he doesn't know. He's supposed to just go with these strangers that he can't understand, leaving everything he knows behind. And be happy about it.. because it's "better", because we tell him it will all be okay. And the strangers take him away and surround him by more strangers that he can't understand. The people, the place, the food, the clothes, the toys... EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. Every single thing. Can you imagine what that feels like to a seven-year-old?!
Today, on his 7th birthday, can you take seven minutes of your day to pray for RJZ? Pray for his heart to be prepared for this huge change, pray for his health, pray that our paperwork to get him home starts moving, pray for our house.
He knows about us now. He knows we are coming. He knows he has a family. He knows everything is about to change. He knows this is his last birthday in China.
Happy birthday, sweet boy. We love you and it will all be okay.
There are many reasons why my mother should be on the cover of People magazine. One reason is that she is a great cook. My favorite meal she makes is her famous black bean burritos! I really like other stuff she makes too. Another reason is that she works very hard to keep us healthy and clean. I am very grateful for all she does (aren't we all?!). Finally, my mother deserves to be on the cover of People magazine because she is an amazing hair dresser! Every day my mom makes sure I look adorable.
These are just a few reason why my mom is great!
Dear Momma, You have no idea how big my love is for you."
It's World Thalassemia Day! Our RJZ has the most severe type of thalassemia called Beta Thalassemia Major. In Beta Thal Major, aka Cooley's Anemia, there is a complete lack of beta protein in the hemoglobin causing a life-threatening anemia that requires regular blood transfusions and extensive ongoing medical care. These lifelong blood transfusions lead to iron-overload which must be treated with chelation therapy to prevent early death from organ failure. (Which is why we are trying to get him home ASAP.)
To learn more about thalassemia, go to www.thalassemia.org.
Also, there is a CHANCE he could receive direct blood donations from family/friends. If you are interested in being a potential donor, PM me and we will share the info at the appropriate time. There are a lot of specifics to match, not just blood type. However, even if you can't donate for him- DONATE! Somebody needs that blood, I promise!
Bitter.
One little mouse couldn't sleep last night. I hugged and kissed, sung the requested songs (Amazing Grace and Fresh Prince of Bel Air), mouth guard, weighted blanket, sleep mask, and essential oils. No dice.
Still no movement on the adoption. Frustrated as all get out. I've been kinder than necessary, in my opinion, but the agency that shall not be named really messed things up for our kid in all this. They went bankrupt and closed abruptly eight weeks ago. They just notified the CCCWA (handles adoption affairs in China) of their closure yesterday. Yesterday. Eight weeks after closing. Meanwhile, our dossier sat in a pile of confusion because the CCCWA didn't know what was going on. We busted our tails to get it there, to get him home as fast possible. We should have been logged into the system within days and then pushed through to approval quickly. Four weeks and two days later and we haven't moved - ALL because of the agency mess. And he waits.
ETA: In this frustration, there's a song that keeps getting stuck in my head and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized I wasn't singing it all the way through... the last line of the song is the verse that his name came from. So I (still) KNOW that he is the end result and there's peace in that.
Sweet.
That mess they left, meant we had to (got to!) switch to our new agency. Major praises for them.
He has a birthday coming up very soon! Or at least a day that was chosen as his birthday. We are sending a birthday cake and should get an update with it. Very excited about that.
This weather is BEAUTIFUL. And we are spending tons of time outside. Really really grateful for sunshine and bike rides and dandelions and picnics this week.
But this weekend...
Mother's Day.
Mothers and step-mothers and mothers-in-law and grandmothers. Grateful for all and their places in our life, stressed over wanting to make sure everyone knows it in a 24 hour period.
Other mothers and parenting kids with other mothers. Three other mothers help make me a mom. Their hearts. Recognizing their loss and loving their kids.
Aunts and friends that love you like mothers.
Infertility and adoption. Pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And more nights and more mornings.
Anniversary of the death of someone I love and anniversary of the birth of someone I love. Grieving the loss of a friend/cousin/soulmate and celebrating the date chosen as our second son's birthday on the same day.
(Soon to be) five little humans. Overwhelmed with the love and responsibility, the hurt when they hurt, the pride, the elation, the fun, the mess, the perfectly imperfect.
Bittersweet.
The rest of the world usually celebrates Women's Day instead of Mother's Day. I like that way way better. THAT seems so much less complicated. Mothers, Aunts, Friends, Daughters, Grandmothers, Godmothers, Sisters ...all deserving. Let's celebrate that. Yay women!
This post has been a few days coming. I delayed, hoping I would have good news from China to share with it. I don't. They are closed for a holiday until Monday, so we (still) wait....
BUT I do have some pretty fantastic news.
And I mean---- fantastic.
I have only done a small handful of photo sessions so far. And the Usborne party isn't until this Sunday.
I have a few more Chinese takeout boxes to pick up, but the ones collected so far brought in $253.17!
{Thank you again to the gals who headed that up!!! Shout out to MR.WOK in Portland for donating the boxes!}
ALSO, an old (in relationship years, not like... OLD) friend with an enormous heart- and her husband- recently gave us an incredible gift. GIANT HUG FOR YOU. The biggest hug.
All that being said, WE ARE FULLY FUNDED.
Fully.
Funded.
Holy Guacamole.
**NOTE: That doesn't account for the "living" money needed in country (food, etc) or our post placement reports, which is why the photo and Usborne fundraisers will continue- but all of our ADOPTION FEES ARE NOW COVERED! Every bit we set out to raise. We - collective "we"- actually did it.
I think it has taken these last few days to sink in. We have kind of walked around in a stupor, really. This whole time, we have been positive and faithful and determined and working our (what's the plural form of arse? Arses?)-- well, we have worked them off but seeing it actually happen... HOLY GUACAMOLE.
If you have bought stuff, donated stuff, eaten stuff, shared word about stuff, prayed about stuff, showed up to stuff - GUYS. Just THANK YOU. Every bit of it matters, every bit of it made a difference, and every bit of it is bringing RJZ home!
