HP/LP

Only one party would do for our LP this year!
Actually, if I had said, "For your birthday, you get two sticks!" She would have said, "Thanks for the extra! Who should I share it with??" The sweetest. But if she had to choose, she sure would like a Harry Potter party for her 11th, being that Harry was invited to Hogwarts for his 11th and all.

I'm not a Harry Potter fan. 

I'm not not a fan, I haven't read it. I've only seen the first movie. It's just not my jam. 

But by golly, I will make it my jam for two weeks to make my daughter smile!

I did my homework-- on Pinterest, naturally. 

By now, you should know that I love planning my kids' parties. I love the details and I love doin' stuff on the cheap. Sometimes I forget to check their homework folders or you know, bathe them... but birthday parties, I can do.

I found some cute printable invites, but LP thought a letter from Hogwarts would be best. So we typed up this little number on shiny cardstock and added the Hogwarts logo. 

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  You are invited to attend an orientation meeting on Saturday, March 21st.  To avoid detection by Muggles, you should pretend you are attending a birthday party for Layla.  It has been arranged for Layla to meet you at Platform 9 ¾ where you will board the Hogwarts Express. You parents may meet you at 4:00 upon your return via the floo network or Muggle transport.  To make it further appear that this is a birthday party, please bring a wrapped book (used is great!) to exchange with other students at the orientation meeting. No other gifts required. 

We await your acceptance letter by owl before March 14^th. If your family does not have an owl, you may try a muggle phone....  

She delivered letters to all of her classmates, which terrified me. What if they ALL come?! What if NO ONE comes?! Also- that means BOYS.  My kids have always had co-ed parties with family and family-friends, but this was like... BOYS. A detail that didn't quite occur to my darling husband until the first two walked in... Someday, ask for his account of this party.  It's hysterical.  

We were delighted when a few people actually RSVP'd with owls and owl paper!

And now ALL the details-- mostly for my dad and sister who really really wanted to be invited to the 5th-grade-only party. 

I made everything or picked it up thrifting. Some of it Layla knew about, but she liked being surprised!  Every day that she came home and saw me working on something, she squeezed my neck and thanked me for my hard work. I'm telling ya... the sweetest. 

She couldn't decide what to wear- her Muggle shirt or her Wingardium Leviosa shirt. She's very Hermione-ish, but she she had already dressed as her for book character day. Luna Lovegood is actually her favorite and she already had Ravenclaw socks. I painted an L on a button up shirt, printed out a template for Luna's glasses on regular paper and taped them to her actual glasses. Nathan attached a cork to a blue beaded necklace and I threw in some of my big chunky earrings---- LUNA! She was ecstatic. 

Cutest Luna I ever did see.

Our entrance was, of course, Platform 9 & 3/4.

We borrowed vintage suitcases from my grandmother, painted a shower curtain, and wrapped empty boxes of pancake mix- addressed to Harry and friends.

  I did end up buying the wooden owl and birdcage for $6.

"Floating candles" when they walked in the door.

Flying keys.

Gross stuff.

 We printed several quotes from the books and placed them in frames around the party area.

Our Hogwarts banner is just felt that I already had on hand. I straight up printed the emblem and just glued the whole paper on. It looked cute from the ground, just a little shoddy close up.

Good Lord, 11 year olds can put away some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans....

The bathroom:

Moaning Myrtle was also in the bathroom. Layla put her in there, yet screamed every time she turned on the light. Ha!

Our cake tables-

I found that "book" at a thrift store. It's just a decorative piece that had some weird pictures and an Ode to Father printed on it. I covered with some spells and potions printed on computer paper and it turned out kind of awesome.

Some of the bottles/jars I already had and some I picked up for forty-nine cents each. I printed potion labels and really meant to put stuff in them, but totally forgot. 

I used brown craft paper and a sharpie to cover the books.

Layla asked for cupcakes, but we had left-over everything so Brynn and I threw a little cake together. It was just right to hold 11 candles!

Layla said we needed to do stuff to entertain everyone, so we planned some activities to fill the time. They made their own wands at Ollivander's.

We cut the sharp ends off skewers and used rubber bands and glue gun (manned by me) to add character, then they painted various shades of brown and gold. They did not need as much time on this as I anticipated...

We also played "Pin the Scar on Harry." Classic. Comical.

And then Layla's favorite part- the book exchange. Everyone brought a wrapped/used book (I had extra on hand and did need to share one or two). She chose a passage out of Harry Potter for Nathan to read. Each time he said "Harry", they passed their books to the right. When he said "Ron", to the left. They got so tickled trying to keep up!

I did trick candles on purpose this time. The magic and all that. 

We had butterbeer and "magic" Sprite for a toast to LP and HP!

After all that... there was still AN HOUR left until parents came for pick up. WHAAAAA??

Thank goodness 11-year-olds are not too old to go outside to play.

These three sat down on the bench to wait for everyone else, and I told them they looked an awful lot like Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting there. Her friend on the right said, "Yeah, maybe if Ron had a little more swag." hahaha

A quick game of Simon 'Harry Says' that started with spells and ended with the disco.

They ran in circles saying weird things I don't understand and texted each other (For real. I thought LP was being dramatic when she said "all" her friends have phones. She wasn't. They all had phones. Sorry, LP.) 

She had a couple of presents to open afterall- including a "birthday love letter" from little sister. SWOON. 

Then everyone walked back through the brick wall at Platform 9 & 3/4 while Layla grinned from ear to ear. It was officially declared the BEST PARTY EVER by more than a few 5th graders and our girl was as gracious as she could be. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAYLA PAIGE. 

Nine pre-teen school friends at your house to celebrate you and you were as lovely and delightful as you are when we're alone.  I adore you.  You make the world better.

Day Five.

This is an advocacy post.

It's not a pity post or a vent.  It's sole purpose is education and awareness.
I've never written about this specifically and today seems like a good day.


If you know Brynn, you know that she is precious. She "mothers" her baby sister and every animal she comes in contact with. She is the first one to offer help- to wash dishes without being asked, to fold all the socks or put away everyone else's laundry just to be kind. She is the most tenderhearted baby. When she was five, a bug was killed in a movie we went to see. She cried silently for 30 minutes for that bug.  She is the child that saves up all her birthday money and allowance, just to give it away. She is the child that begged me to turn the car around on a busy street, then sat on the side of the road with an elderly woman who was digging in the trash. She just sat with her, talked to her, because we are "supposed to care for our neighbors". When my grandfather was in his last months, our others were uncomfortable seeing him lost and lying in his bed.  Not Brynn. She held his hand, knelt by his bed, and prayed.  She is PRECIOUS.

Today, Brynn is screaming nonsensical words. She is hanging upside down from a chair, kicking her feet during breakfast. She is only half-clothed, because she has no idea where she put the pants that she just had in her hands.

I've heard people use an ADHD sticker for a kid who is busy, wiggly, active. People make jokes(?) about that kid "needing their meds". I have no idea if they do or not.  Brynn does.

Today is Day 5 with no meds.  I ordered them a week ago and we still don't have them.

She can go a day without and be okay. Busy. Wiggly. Active. She will need extra reminders and prompts, but thank me for "letting her be herself". Day 2, she is silly but functional.  It's harder to complete a task, but she can do it.  Wild, so it seems like she's not listening, but she hears you. On Day 3, she'll be braver- take risks. She needs time on the trampoline to calm down, she needs sugar-free gum to keep toys/clothes/erasers/books out of her mouth.  Meltdowns, running away, acting out. Day 4, her homework becomes a scribbled mess of lines with barely intelligible words. She'll pee in her pants, probably several times, because her brain and body are moving so fast, she leaves the toilet before she's finished. She switches to offensive play, antagonizing, testing. She will get injured- often- because she is too impulsive to consider consequences.  We have gotten her off the roof on Day 4s. Twice.

Today is Day 5. She laughs hysterically when her behavior is corrected and cries uncontrollably when she can't get the top on the toothpaste. She has wrapped herself in her blanket too tightly to move and rolled back and forth on the carpet as hard as she could. She will sob later, in frustration because she can't get what's in her head, out- in order to finish her sentence. She will alternate growling and squealing when you are squatting down in front of her trying to make eye contact and then dart away. She will steal, sneak, hide.  She has already climbed Nathan's armoire and squished three carrot muffins into her cheeks at once. She's fast. Lightening fast.

Brynn is missing school today.  She is staying home because it's Day 5 with no meds and she already struggled through Days 2 & 4 (Friday/Monday). She can't do it. She can't function, She can't follow directions or sit in her desk and do her work. She can't play appropriately with friends.  She can't wait her turn or stand in line. She can't do it.  Not today.

Easy to love, hard to raise.  It's not her fault, we know that. It doesn't always make it easier to parent. By Days 3&4, we are frustrated. Tired. We hate it- mostly for ourselves. But by Day 5... I feel for our sweet girl. I see in her eyes that she doing her best. This is her best today. This is what she can do.

The sun is shining through the windows. Birds are chirping. The washer & dryer are running, Music is on in the background. Cale is working on math.  And Brynn is clawing in the dirt, jerking her head back and forth, and singing no particular song at the top of her lungs.

This is Brynn's ADHD. It is not who she is and rarely what others see when they look at her, but it is VERY real and VERY much a part of our day-to-day life.  She is a not a child who doesn't listen or needs a spanking or "knows better".  This is a child who needs tools-- medical intervention, a sensory diet, visual prompts-- in order to operate life in general. With those tools, she can do life and do it really well.  This is a child who can... will... be successful and happy.

She is driven and compassionate and entertaining.
And busy. Wiggly. Active.
She is Brynn- our precious girl.

Spring forward.

I sort of bitingly said out loud, "Who are these people that just decided they wanted to change the time of day?? And everybody is like 'Yeah- good idea. Let's just change it.  Spread the word.' and then it just caught on and the rest of the country was cool with just it being a completely different time than it was yesterday?"

World War II for the U.S. officially by the way. Because Layla gave me a TEN MINUTE history lesson. 

So the universe went haywire for a week.  Everyone in our house is actually sleeping through the night because somehow that sixty minutes makes you think you haven't slept in days- but it causes some crazy overall. 

But after a little crazy ...  SPRING. Then SUMMER. Just as it should be. 

February was not kind to us, but we have brushed that dust off and we are soldiering on. Maybe it's a sneak peek at Spring, maybe it's a reward for surviving, but there's a freshness in the air. 

It feels good.

Not new, not easy, just... better. And much preferred.

I think we are just getting started. I am declaring goodness and positivity for the Wests. Love and light! If FDR can just decide to change the time then so can we. We decide to change (back) to JOY.  

Thank goodness the rest of the crew seems to be on board with the plan. 

It suits us- making the most of things. We like life that way.

I was talking to a new friend the other day while our girls got their hair done (Hi, Teri!!) and I mentioned that we were built for chaos.  Teri immediately said, "That's it! That's the title of your book."

Our day-to-day... it is a 'lil bit chaotic. I don't know if there's anything different or special about it, because it's all we know.  Sure, any day could include a visit with our home health nurse and then a therapist, phone calls or appointments with hematologist, neurologist, and our specialty pharmacy, a grab bag of medications etc etc but they are such small pieces really. Barely a blip. And then we have dance and flag football and homework and silly arguments over well, everything. At the end of the day, the parts that stand out are the ridiculous video the 7&8-year-olds left on my phone or those few minutes of uncontrollable giggles when that word came out of AG's mouth (I swear she means "frog".) 

WHAT LOOKS LIKE CRAZY ON AN ORDINARY DAY LOOKS A LOT LIKE LOVE IF YOU CATCH IN THE MOONLIGHT.

A family that spirographs together stays together...

CHILD1:  Right, that's my field of vision.

CHILD2:  Maybe you're filled with vision, but I'm filled with danger. 

CHILD: Where can I get some of those hamster glasses?

PARENT: Hamster glasses?

CHILD: Yeah, they make glasses for hamsters. I heard somebody say Anna Gray has some.

.... Hipster. Not hamster.

And we don't even have a hamster.

CHILD: I could be wrong, but I think they're a coyote sitting in a recliner across the street. 

CHILD: Mama, how do you spell "whistle while you twerk"?

Text from Brynnie

Sometimes it's hard because life is hard.  Parts of mine and parts of everybody else's. 

For us, February and it's unfortunate circumstances BLEW. But we are springing forward -- bigger and better than what last month had to offer. Because that's what we decided.  We decided Snow White can have tattoos and that little boys can carry their Desferal pump in a pink purse if they want to.  We decided you don't have to explain why you need to wear that shirt again today.  Also, that there was not, in fact, a coyote in a recliner across the street. We just decided.

Bring on them May flowers.

P.S.

Shout-out to women who empower other women, friends that love you exactly where you are, and anyone in the world who goes to bat for anyone else. You rock my mismatched socks.

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time... Not this time.

{Thanks for the lyrics, T Swift.}

I never know what will come out of Roman's mouth... he is still discovering that other people don't all look exactly like him. And definitely still trying to get ahold of the English language.  And the appropriate time to ask all the questions. But we are teaching and he is learning.

With that exception, I highly doubt any of our (other) children would make fun of a child's hair for being too flat. Too straight. Too... small.

See this beautiful girl with the tough outer shell?

A pair of little girls made fun of her "big" hair. The hair God himself sculpted for her adorable little head. They laughed and pointed and touched and asked WHY?! with crooked eye brows and wrinkled foreheads. I couldn't have been prouder to see her stand up straighter, proclaim the lack of mistakes in God's resume (with just a touch of her signature sass...) and strut off, her cotton candy curls a'bouncing.

It's not the first time, probably not the last, and it stung. Her tough outer shell cracked a little. She cried and asked for braids minutes before the bus arrived this morning.

I hope you'll continue teaching your children to be kind, preferably by being kind. Celebrate differences and all that.  I know they're kids and kids have been doing this sort of thing since the beginning of time, but a Buzzfeed quiz officially declared me an optimist and I think we can make it better.

Build those little babies up. World peace.


"Kindness is free. Sprinkle that shit everywhere."


Darn, I almost tripped on my pedestal....


************************************************


I met a new friend recently.

We spent four unexpected hours together, and I will likely never see her again, but I learned so much from her.  After spending the last few years as a recovering people pleaser, she taught me in one afternoon that I don't have to defend my answers.

If someone asks me to take on a task, I can say no without the detail of why.
If I won't be in attendance, my reason doesn't have to good enough.

She didn't instruct me to be a jerk or anything, only that it's up to me if I want to explain or just state the facts. I'm not facts person. I'm a feelings person. (Reverse that for Nathan.  As the ever-so-wise Paula Abdul once told us, many many moons ago... opposites attract.)  However, I am most definitely learning when to yin and when to yang.  Ditto for my opposite.

During the time that I ...we... were actively missing -- not just from social media, but sorta from life -- there were The Ten Dark Days. It's like a period in our life that became so relevant, it should be a proper noun ie The Civil War, The Great Depression.... The Ten Dark Days.

These types of proper nouns, they tend to bring change.

Our's brought several, but here are the facts:

Cale is homeschooling again. He is healthy and mostly happy, therefore we are happy.  I say 'mostly' because he is also human.

He requested a daily schedule that he could see and lots of science experiments.

He is staying on track with what Brynn is learning in public school. Reading and writing and spelling and math, etc. He is also learning a lot that can't be taught from a textbook.  We all are.

Cale is bright and capable and has lots to teach this world (fact).  He is doing his best, even if it doesn't look like everyone else's (fact). We aren't exactly sure where this road is leading, but we won't give up (fact.)

We are scrappy fighters, survivors- the seven of us.  We are a little jaded and a little low on energy right this second, but our kids are hitting life head-on and they're coming out of it better, stronger, braver, kinder people. And I'm proud of every single one of them (fact).