Turning point(s).

Roman Jude Zheng had several more "firsts" in the past week!

First milkshake:

First drive-in movie:

First dentist appointment:

First (almost) slumber party:

And first time to open up about China...

Last Friday after I picked him up from school and AG was sleeping, he decided to test out some truth telling. The kind of truths you only tell people you really trust. It was a mix of Mandarin, English, Google Translate and some serious acting skills, but big detailed memories were told. Tears were shed (for both). Once he realized it was okay, he kept them coming.

I had a feeling that up until this point, he thought "Mommy" was my name. Not the term used to identify my relationship to him and not a connection we shared, just my name. I was right. But after our afternoon of sharing and caring, he snuggled in close and said Mama... Roman's Mama.

He stayed right underneath me for a while after. Then started doing what looks like a more formal gesture of putting his hands on his heart and then opening them up to me- the way they did in China when they were presenting me with something important. He's done it over and over and I know just what he means.

Since then, he's more relaxed when he's in my arms. He stares at us with a sweet grin when he thinks we aren't looking. He hugs and kisses me constantly. There has definitely been a shift in genuine affection vs. mimicking what he sees.

Yesterday, for the first time, I wore the same shirt I had on the day we met.  As soon as he saw it, he started telling me his version of that day. How Mommy was so excited and smiling and waving and then Roman does this {shows stunned face}. He went and got our "first official photo" they gave us in China, me beaming ear to ear and him, stunned. I asked if he was scared.  A little.  I said, "Roman, I am so happy to be your Mama." He wrapped his tiny little arms all the way around and said, "Yes. Roman's mama. Roman happy. And Daddy is Roman's baba. Roman happy." And then he told me he loved me in Mandarin for the first time. He has been saying it in English non-stop, but I don't think he knew what he was saying. He just knew it was something affectionate we say to one another. Now, he says Roman loves Mama when he hands me his heart.

When he's trying to tell you he wants something, he says, "Roman, you want....?"
Roman, you want milk? means he wants milk.
Roman, you want Thomas? means he wants to watch Thomas.
Last night, he said, Roman, you want America? You want America Mama & Baba?

Sometimes he wants me to hold him because he's tired, sometimes just to be close, but he often tells people that his mama is so strong.  His foster mom was much older and could not hold him. The last couple of days, I've had a cold. It kept me from eating well or sleeping well and landed me flat on my back with the worst migraine I've had since we got home. He had not seen me so incapacitated and he was so, so worried.  He learned to use the microwave so he could fix a hot towel for me, He kissed my whole face at all the wrong times, he propped himself on my leg and rubbed my arm while I laid down. He got me water and threw away my tissues. So gross but so, so sweet. He wanted to take care of his mama (to be fair, he was learning a lot from all the other tiny nurses in the house), but he would not leave my side. Even after I'd gotten back on my feet, he asked Okay, Mama? all night long and again this morning.

So lovable, that little one.

We've thrown him for a loop a couple of times this week and he's still handling it like a champ. There are a couple more firsts on the horizon, but we are trying to balance them carefully with the safe and familiar. He's still doing well at school and starting next week, we are going to try staying for lunch. That could get interesting. He is asking to stay all day and seems to love it. And guys... his classroom helper invited him to his birthday party! He has his own friend!

It's sooo weird to feel so content and complete. I've never felt complete before, I wasn't sure I was the kind of person who would. He so naturally slid into the missing spot that it's weird to think that there is still so much for him to do and see and be as part of US. We've kept his world small (with good reason and good outcome!), I almost forget how much he has left to see. Keep on rockin', little man. You're the strong one.

FOODIES.

As much as we spent on the adoption, it feels like we've spent at least that in food since we got home.

I have kind of been working on this post for over two YEARS, because I started off writing it about Brynn and Cale. Then Brynn, Cale, and Anna Gray. Now Brynn, Cale, Anna Gray, and Roman.  (THE END.)

Just eating a little spinach salad at 8PM on a Saturday night.

For those that don't know, in adoption, food and attachment go hand in hand. It's survival. It makes no difference at what age my children were adopted, each of them has a little voice buried so way deep down that says, "I have to do whatever it takes to survive." and that this comfy, cozy family might not really be forever. I can't speak for all children who were adopted, but I know it's true for mine and it's not uncommon at all. So in our house, that looks like eating ALL the food. All of it. ASAP. Just in case you never get to eat again.

Really, guys. My beautiful, playful, "adjusted" children are still scared that they might not ever get to eat again. They have spent years stealing, hiding, hoarding food- just in case. And every.single.time. we try to put any restrictions on food at all, they panic. The cycle starts over and they eat everything. Just in case.

When the twins were around age 2, we started finding yogurt cups and granola wrappers hidden under pillows, in drawers, everywhere. Sweet side: Cale would eat six yogurt cups in the middle of the night and hide the trash, but ALWAYS put the spoon in the sink and his whole room smelled like strawberry-banana.

Because we didn't know any better, we put a lock on the fridge. He broke it off. We put the snacks in a higher cabinet. Then we found him ON TOP of the refrigerator in the middle of the night, trying to saw food open with a knife from the same cabinet. Then we found him in my car another night, looking for something, anything to eat. At TWO. There were locks and gates and alarms. I promise you, he was not starving. He was desperate to feel like had control of his own world.  But we didn't know. We didn't get it.

We learned the hard way (from our therapist) that we needed to make some foods available to them at all times. So we did. And they ate $100 worth of groceries in a matter of hours. So I spent another $100, and they ate that too.

We can't afford that and it really just isn't healthy.

I've tried to compromise. I made food visible and available... and in organized little baskets.

Fruits and veggies with peanut butter, ranch, and hummus ready for dipping.

Grains: pretzels, granola bars, graham crackers, goldfish

Protein: greek yogurt, string cheese, hardboiled eggs, cashews, turkey, pepperoni

Aren't they pretty?!
And see those numbers? That was me saying, "You can choose ANYTHING YOU WANT from ANY of these baskets ANY time you are hungry... except... only one. Or two."

AKA: Me in control of their food, not them. And them feeling restricted, and panicking, and then stealing, hiding, hoarding. Just in case.

At one point during the initial pretty basket era (age 6 by this point), Brynn told her therapist that they are "never allowed" to eat.

So, we took off all the numbers and they went back to eating an entire box of granola bars in one sitting. And who wants to eat dinner when you're belly is full of granola bars?! And you know... parents get burned up when their kids won't eat dinner. So we quit buying granola bars. That way, if they are too full to eat dinner, at least they are full on carrots and apples.

If we don't want them to eat it, it can't be in this house. Period.

We can't order cookie dough from the school fundraiser (Those little frozen uncooked cookies fit perfectly between dressers and walls. And inside folded socks. Ask me how I know...).   Last year, I bought a box of girl scout cookies. I put them on my bedside table NEXT TO MY FACE. I woke up to an empty box.

When I was making cupcakes earlier this year to fund the adoption? LAWD A'MERCY.
Cupcakes all over our kitchen at all times.
It was risky, I'll admit.
Thankfully, only twice did I wake up to all of the cupcakes gone.

The other part of this for our's is that food can't be used as a reward OR taken away as a consequence, unless it's their choice. Ohhhh but that one is sooo hard to learn. Especially in the South and especially for teachers and grandparents. {Love ya'll.} Also, for US.

We actually had this scenario this weekend....
They had done something we were proud of.  We wanted to celebrate that and let them choose a reward. They chose ice cream. Before actually getting to the ice cream, one made a bad choice. Pretty bad. Our knee-jerk reaction is to say... You no longer get ice cream.

For my kids, that immediately says I only get food if I am good.  For my kids, that says If I make a bad choice, I'm not allowed to eat. At all.  In this state of mind, they can't distinguish between food and treat. Because this is about survival, taking away edible treats (food), ignites the panic and the cycle starts over.

They had already done the thing that earned the ice cream. That doesn't change just because they later made a bad choice. As parents, we don't want them to think they can still be rewarded for acting like a wild animal so WE have to separate the two ourselves. We have to make a point to say,  I'm proud that you did XYZ. I'm so glad that you are my son/daughter and I can spend time with you while we celebrate with ice cream... instead.  It's WAY (way) more important that they hear that.

When they are feeling safe and loved and forever-ness, they eat less. Because they can trust that these safe and loving and forever parents will have food for them to eat when they are hungry. We can't focus on the food issue, we focus on the feeling safe and loved issue- then the food cycle resolves itself.

While it's tricky and super hard to explain to others. I'm so glad that now we know. And that we knew all this before adding Roman to the mix.

After all, he's seven and he's very aware that he just had to leave his whole world behind. Do you know how scary that is?! What if this new "family" doesn't let him eat when he's hungry? What if he only gets to eat once a day? What if he does something naughty, and his new parents say You can't have THIS to eat.  It doesn't matter what the "this" is because all he heard is "I can't eat." HE HAS TO SURVIVE. So, he eats. A lot. Just in case.  And the others, well, they just watched his whole world go away and what if that happens to them too? So they eat. A lot. This is where we are right now.

We have three baskets. They are full of healthy, appropriate (and some Chinese) snacks. They can eat ANYTHING from ANY of the baskets ANY time. Right now, that's about a billion dollars worth of food a day (also because it costs more to put good stuff in your body) but it's worth it. Soon they will all start to feel very safe and loved and forever again, and the cycle will slow.

On a different and less healthy edible note, Brynnie made brownies completely by herself. She read the directions, measuring carefully, counting her 50 strokes, and followed through all the way to end (and looked beautiful doing it). I did absolutely nothing. SO PROUD OF THIS LITTLE LADY.

Of course, they were gone from the top of the fridge the next morning and my kitchen was covered in brownie crumbs. But for one night, we had brownies! Sometimes it's worth the risk...

Stella.

She's starting to get her groove back.

Things are so completely different from last week, it really seems strange that only seven days have passed in between.

Thankful this week for lots of firsts for the excited boy, church in a parking lot, theanine serene, dance parties, family fishing days, other advocates, and on and on. It was easier this week to remember that all those struggles exist because of the GOOD STUFF that brought them.

Microwave popcorn!

Here are the bits and pieces:

Roman had his first transfusion (here) on Friday.
He was a little anxious but went through the motions without complaint- at first.
Since this was our initial visit, there was more to do upfront and it was harder to find at blood match than they expected. Four hours in, we hadn't even started the transfusion.

When we finally did get back to the chemo bay, he lost it. Best I could tell, he thought I was leaving him there.

In China, he was dropped of at the hospital for his transfusion and picked up six days later. As far as we know, he was alone- other than nurses/doctors. No matter how many times I tried to tell him I was staying and we were going home the same day, he was too far gone to hear it. Of course, it's easier to push me away than feel abandoned, so it was a rough hour.

We ended up getting a private room and some wonderful people waiting on him hand and foot. Once we started, he did great! And was VERY happy to go home when all was said and done.

He definitely got some life back, but wasn't out of control like he had been in China. Just his silly little self!

 We have had a few other appointments to get baselines before starting chelation therapy (Exjade) and only had one surprise so far... he failed his hearing test. His right ear drum is retracted and his left has a huge hole in it. Working on a plan there. We still have eyes and a liver MRI to do, EKG will be done during his next transfusion in two weeks.

Even though there are lots of appointments and lots of paperwork and meetings and constant phone calls, it feels like we are almost through recovery and slipping slowly into maintenance.

Our first post placement visit with our social worker went well, though he wanted nothing to do with her. However, Cale talked her head off and Anna Gray climbed up in her lap completely. Obviously, we are still working on sharing our attention equally! We realized in talking with her that he already has over 100 words/phrases in English. And several full sentences. May I have a bite please? Roman play outside? Roman, you want puzzle? (That would be- Can I have a puzzle?) AG has an Elmo that says "Elmo is so sleepy!" and then sings a lullaby. She uses it to go to sleep. So now he says, Roman so sleepy... and starts humming when he's ready to rest.

He also constantly tells me how old each of us will be when he's this old and there's some serious math involved! Such a bright little guy.

At the suggestion of his ELL teacher, I made index cards to label almost everything in our house. Bonus reading practice: Brynn and Cale read each card and taped them where they go! They seem to be helping all the seven year olds.

Some things get lost in translation and give us a real giggle.
Example: He begged to go fishing and squealed delightedly when we told him we were going. Until he found out we were going out to lunch first. He was so mad. He kept saying first you fish, then you eat.the.fish. Why in the world would we go eat before fishing?? Funny.

Shout out to our Brynnie, who made the first catch with this cat, completely unassisted.

"Some girls chase boys... I pass them."

 

And to Anna Gray who did such a good job of just being filthy and adorable.

I've been videoing a lot because pictures and words just don't always do justice to this crazy/beautiful life.  I have loaded up our YouTube channel. If you're ever bored, (like...really, really bored. So much time on your hands that it makes you sad and you happen to briefly wonder: I wonder if the Wests have anything on their YouTube channel that would make me smile? Or if you are a grandparent to said Wests.) Here's a small glimpse...
{PS most of them involve dancing.  I'm serious when I say someone is always dancing in this house. PPS Roman went to hip hop class with Cale!} You'll notice there are generally two superstars. Our others aren't quite as determined to be in the limelight.

1. RJZ: Learning his full name. (Now mastered.)
2. How to know if you have a Southern accent: teach your Chinese son to count.
3. Cale needs a summer job. 
4. This is what we call B-Tap. Her own little version of music. It makes her so happy!
5. Speaking of... Roman shakes it off while we clean out the boys' room.
6. Beyonce ain't got nothing on our own Queen B. Don't mind the mess, this was the day after we got home from China.

I just shared six videos. Lame. Don't care. Love those little bitties. Every wiggly ounce of them.


OTHER UPDATES:
Layla is an awesome human, even if she is all pre-teeny and uses words like "parasitism" conversationally. No idea what to do with that.

We have implemented some changes that seem to be working for Cale. We still have some tweaking to do, but grateful for glimpses of positivity. Change is hard, but his happy face is starting to peak out again as we get his world back to a safe place.  Good vibrations always appreciated for this area of our life. Better make 'em big ones too.

Anna Gray is her same sunshine-y self, except like... grown. She talks constantly and is always explaining things to Roman, bringing him random items to tell him what they are called. Banana, car, brush... of course, now he thinks all blankets are called "Kiki" bc that's what she calls her can't-go-anywhere-without-it-blanket.

Hey, little fighter. Things are getting brighter.

I feel like Katy Perry would be so proud of me.

This is two (three?) days in the making, but you know... life and all.

Roman started school!
Sorta. Barely.

So cute and no idea what he's doing. I had asked if we could do half days but they weren't quite sold on the idea.

I left him at school at 8:30a on Tuesday and they called an hour later to schedule pick up at 11a. Day one was.. a lot. Our bright, curious boy just needed to check out ALL the things. Obviously, the teacher can't spend all of her time redirecting him and he sure as heck can't understand a word she's saying.  He doesn't know the rules, he doesn't even know that there are rules.

But he came out smiling and asked if he could go back again!


Afterwards, I took the two half day-ers to the park to play. These babies sure love to swing!

\

This was in Brynn's folder:

And I found out this morning that Cale had gone in his class to check on him. Little love monsters.

We are definitely seeing a lot of attention seeking behaviors from all five, and negative attention is better than no attention, but we are definitely definitely seeing a whole lot of love and acceptance too. Things will settle some day!

The plan for Day 2 was 10:00a pickup. Dropped him off and then took Anna Gray. That meant I had one hour. I was going to use it to get in a run and get a quick shower- but Vanderbilt called, then the Board of Education called... so I spent the last 20 mins eating peanut butter and watching Taylor Swift videos. I was going to run to the school to pick him up, but they kept trying to call and I was having trouble answering, so I just ran back home and drove up there. They wanted him to stay another hour! They also requested a meeting for the afternoon.

He was happy again when I picked him up (but starving because you can't eat 72 times at school). We needed to re-stock snacks too so we stopped at Subway, where he chose a bacon and spinach sandwich with bbq sauce.

 I think they've bonded!

I had back to back meetings this  yesterday afternoon at the school. First an IEP meeting for Cale and then a meeting with Roman's teacher and principal.

 From now on, on the gabillions of paperwork I do regularly, when it asks my occupation... I'm going to write ADVOCATE. They don't need to know that I don't get paid for it and it's usually on behalf of my own children. THAT IS MY JOB.  

It wasn't bad. I only cried twice (because I'm proud of my kids and know they are worth every bit of effort required). Again, things just look differently from our view. We know how much our kids have already conquered. And while we will absolutely continue to work- sometimes we have bigger fish to fry. They're seven. They have time. I think by the end of both meetings, they started to get that. I'm really happy with the plans in place for both boys and I feel like- for the first time- we are all on the same page. SIDE NOTE: Guess who's getting an ESL teacher! And only staying half days for a while. ahem.

We are not afraid of hard.

I knew when I admitted we were struggling the other day, I would get mixed feedback. It never fails that the "You asked for this." comments come trickling in... anonymously from behind a computer screen, where it's safe.

We didn't choose hard. We chose LIFE. Not necessarily saving it... LIVING it. Their's. Our's.
Yes, it is hard right now. I mean, like... everything.

I cried over a banana last night. Because it was a busy/tough day, big decisions had to be made, (several) fits were thrown, we didn't have something we needed for dinner, then by the time we got it- our grill broke, and I just needed something to be easy. Dang you, banana.

Oh, but the one who had done the hurting earlier came and wrapped their sweet little arms around me and said Let me help. And one moved to the other side of the table, scooted their seat right up to mine, and held my hand through dinner. And one cried and cried until Mama sang. By the third round of the same song, that one was singing along and after the fourth round, sighed Thank you. Two made a Mama sandwich at bedtime. And then the tall handsome that I do life with, who was verbally echoing my feelings, he collapsed right next me and said WE GOT THIS.


Roar.

Alright, let's back that thing up.

It's no secret I have a flair for the dramatics, but I DON'T ask for help.
I'm doing the duck thing.
Cool, calm, and collected on top.... paddling like hell underneath.

I'm really wanting to stock my house with cokes and cookies. When I'm this wound up, a fridge full of spinach just makes me angry.

I know everybody has their own stuff going on. Explaining, not complaining.

Roman is doing GREAT. Like... great.
Really. He is a bit stubborn from time to time, like most seven year olds I know. He does get tired easily, but that's okay because he wants his mama to hold him. Our only struggles -right now- are communication and food. We are doing pretty well getting through to each other, some things are just a little complicated for google translate or there isn't time to type it in and make sure it's translating correctly. That's really the ONLY time he gets frustrated, when he doesn't understand.  Understandably. The food thing will be another post, another day. He is starting to get out a little, though usually "safe" places. I did test the waters this weekend and he got a bit overwhelmed. Otherwise, he is a HAPPY little guy. Sweet as pie.

He had his first visit to the hematology clinic at Vanderbilt on Friday. His Hgb was better than we expected, his iron level was worse. We did some more in-depth testing and will use those results to move forward. We had a bit of a phone meeting today, will go back for his first transfusion this week, and get our plan in place.

As soon as I walked in the door with Roman and AG, the school called to say Brynn had a fever. While picking her up, Cale's teacher stopped me to say he'd had a pretty rough day.

This was not unexpected...  He was still recovering from jet lag, still adjusting to school, still adjusting to school after China, still adjusting to a new brother at home, sick sister(s) getting extra attention, all his makeup tests on Friday, a scuffle with another student, and a school party he hadn't earned. Anxiety level MAXED OUT.  I think he would have been okay for the rest of the day, if he hadn't seen me. But his class was coming in the front door and I was going out, it was unavoidable.

Details aside, it went from bad to worse. He was NOT going back in that school. He was going to do whatever he had to do to prove it.  By this point- he wasn't safe. The other students were not safe.
I took him home. If you are only a parent to neuro-typical children, you probably would have died of humiliation right there in the elementary school parking lot. But he's not neuro-typical and it's all relative!

Here's the positive from our perspective:
1) This is the first time he's reached this point at this school, so that's good. Also, it could have been much worse, really.
2) I was there. Which is probably why it even occurred to him that leaving was an option, but... I WAS THERE.
3) The school got to see how I/we handle these situations. And also that this is a real possibility for him and not just tales from a parent. There needs to be a plan in place and they know that now.
4) The school joined me in handling the situation and mimicked my response. I am grateful for that.
5) Cale saw that we (the school and I/us) are working together to keep him safe. It was powerful for him to see that we all have his back and respect each other's authority.
6) He was already making eye contact again before we left the school.
7) Once home, he calmly and clearly explained his thought process on what just happened. UM... HUGE. Enormous. Not only did he know what just happened, he was able to put words AND FEELINGS to it. HUGE.
8) His anxiety rose up again Sunday in anticipation of returning to school this morning... and after a bit of a meltdown, he was able AGAIN to say: THIS IS WHAT I'M AFRAID OF...

Ya'll. So, it sucks when your kid falls apart and chooses extreme, socially unacceptable ways to communicate it... but when your kids who falls apart is strong enough and brave enough to say Can you help me put this back together? Oh, the feels.

Wouldn't choose it, but I truly believe good will come from it.

Roman really, really wants to start school and all the pieces are in play to do that. Maybe even tomorrow. He can't wait and I'm a nervous wreck. I realize that's only half a day away, but we haven't actually made a decision. There is no longer an ESL teacher at our school.  He would have to bus to a different school for ESL services and we aren't going to do that. He wants to be with his siblings and we want him to be. More phone calls this afternoon and we'll go from there. But every day, he says, "Roman school today? Please? Roman's turn? Layla, Brynn, Cale and ROMAN school?" 


House is still a mess and probably will be for a while. Gonna have to be okay with that... but when things are spinning out, I'd like to think that is one area I can control. It's not. I can't. Not right now. I don't know if it's the mess itself or my inability to control it that works me up. (Both.) Sorry about the cry for help this morning. Wouldn't do it if I didn't need it! I did and you stepped up and I'm grateful. Ya'll made me laugh and cry and I am so many kinds of grateful for good people.
Ya'll are good people.

Oh and P.S.
Took our Brynnie-girl to the pediatrician this morning. Looks like she did have some sort of infection, but is on the mend. Essential oils and spinach for the win (dang it). Layla is feeling better and Mei Mei Annie still runs the joint.

heyyyyy today sucks.

And it's not even 9am! Happy Monday!

If you have a sec, we could use some good juju, nekkid dancing, dandelions, lucky pennies, prayers to ABBA (God OR the 70s Swedish rock band), we'll take whatever.

Overslept. Two won't eat because they don't feel good.
One crying because they want to to go to school.
Two crying because they DON'T want to go to school. One didn't want to go because they didn't want to deliver their apology note to their principal. The note I helped write. And I mean that I said, "Tell me what you want to say..." and I wrote it, then had the child re-write in their own handwriting because I just did not need to add another battle. P.S. Child accidentally took in the note *I* wrote, not the one the child wrote themselves. Awesome.
One crying over pain I can't identify. The family that doesn't go to the doctor is headed to the doctor for the fourth time in a week because I am at a loss on this one.
I need to find my loud (strong) voice so that another child gets proper medical care. I loathe phone calls and strong voices and educating people who think they don't need to be educated.
Pretty sure I do not have my shite together on my calender and we are missing multiple things completely. Calender is a mess. House is a mess.

So, yeah. Anything you can throw out into the universe would be the bees knees. And I promise I'll update soon without craptastic vagueness. mmmkk. bye.

Still chugging along through the newness over here. Totes exhausted :)

NO IDEA what day it is. As usual in any recovery, day three kinda sucked. That was Labor Day, I think?
Roman didn't go to bed until 4am; Cale and I didn't go to bed AT ALL.
Anything we planned to accomplish that day went out the window.

Once Roman did fall asleep, we couldn't wake him for anything. Finally, at almost 3:00PM, Nathan just scooped him up and brought him to sit on the couch. He ate, slowly, and then BOOM: He found the backyard.

It had rained the previous two days and was finally sunny. I forgot he had no idea what was out there! Trampoline, swing set, basketball goal, bikes, scooters... he got all squeal-y again. GOOD LORD, HE'S CUTE. He played so hard and giggled every step of the way.  And all things were made new again for the other kids because his little laugh is so infectious.

Helping Daddy change the oil...

The three of us enjoyed a snack of melatonin that evening, in an attempt to sleep during the night and get regulated. It worked a little! Thank you tiny little Jesus.

Unfortunately, our Layla-girl woke up the next morning with streptococcus germies for the fifth time in 18 mos. We know what's next...

After our visit to the pediatrician (while I wouldn't necessarily choose to take all five with me, they did pretty darn well!), we grabbed some lunch and headed to the park. Again, he thought that playground was the grandest thing and had an absolute ball. (The other kids are rock stars, btw).

He has been much calmer since we got home- mostly. Now he's just regularly "very active" instead of off-the-charts-active.  He has his first hematology appointment on Friday and we'll start figuring out what all he's got going on with his insides.  He had just been transfused when he came to us. I'm sure that fresh blood, "excitement", and some coping skills played a huge role in his energy/behavior in China.  Interested to find out what we will see after his first transfusion at home.  He eats ALL THE TIME. I suspect it's attachment related (familiar road with the twins...), maybe Thal-related, maybe just a hungry boy, or maybe curious about all these new foods. Which, by the way, I have been SO impressed with his willingness to try.

He is equally eager when it comes to learning English. He repeats everything- which really makes you hyper-aware of your own choices! He now snaps and points when he says "SHOES." Amber clears throat awkwardly.

Most freely-used phrases:
Sorry (enter any name).
Good job!/Good job? 
Okay?! 
{Any name's} turn  ! or ?
Excuse me- Good boy. (He says both, as if they go together, bc I say 'Good boy' after he says excuse me.)
Please, thank you, and you're welcome.
Spiderman. (Nathan brought home Spiderman unders and he put them on IMMEDIATELY! He loves them!)
Cale Benjamin.
Roman feed Walker?! (dog)
OH MY WORD. We must say this more than I realize, it was also AG's first southern sayin'.

Speaking of, Anna Gray and Roman conversations are hilarious.
He assumes she's speaking English, so he copies her. She assumes the same of him. So their dialogue is a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and jibber jabber. And they totally understand each other.

They did have a bit of competition over Mommy during the long wait in the doctor's office. It didn't last long, but since Nathan was back to work and I was on my own, it was their first opportunity to test it out. They decided coloring together was easier.

He ran out the front door (in the rain) to get to Nathan when he got home from work yesterday! He's definitely warmed up to him and he seems to be attaching seamlessly. However, attaching likely isn't seamless at 7yrs old with this much change. After a week and a half with me in-country, he asked another lady to pick him up and called her Mommy. So... I'm not convinced that he knows we are his versus he knows we are familiar. That's exactly why we aren't introducing him to everyone just yet.

It will be a little tricky to navigate when he starts school, but we will have protective boundaries in place. He has really missed the others today while they've been back in school. I'm definitely ready to get back into a routine and get my house back.  I can't seem to get caught up right now between everyone needing extra attention, Layla sick, and still not resting more than a few hours a night. Gonna be a few more days of mess before I can get this ship up and running again!

So glad to have his mess :)