A time to dance...

Saturday night was Layla's first dance recital!!

It was actually her third year to start dance (ah, snap) but the first year that we've actually made it to recital. The first year we accidentally scheduled our trip to Alaska during recital so we had to pull out after Christmas. The second year we had to quit dance when Nathan was job-less for a while... so this year recital was a BIG deal! YAY! lol.

This child was so stinking excited. And let's not even pretend her momma wasn't just as bad. C'mon...I love the stage! (But really and truly, I have been very careful about letting this be her choice. I just do that little sqealing thing on the inside).

I thought she was going to be supah-nervous by the way she has frozen up before just for little classroom performances, etc. but during dress rehearsal, Layla Paige West, Dancer Extraordanaire came alive! She got the showbiz high.

Before she went out, she was asking a million questions about how many people were going to be there and what if the lights were too bright... but when she came off, she was in LOVE. She said, "Now I know what it feels like and I never want to come off that stage!".


She was BEAUTIFUL! Her tumble dance was ADORABLE. Little "swimmers" dancing to Wipe Out. This was her first go at tumble in a class with girls on their 3rd year, but she held her own! And she had fun!




And she was just the most perfect little ballerina. I wanted to nail her to the top of jewelry box and watch her spin forever. She was so precious and did her dance just right :)



We were beaming with pride!

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The show didn't end until almost 10pm and we hadn't had dinner (weird day), she from the rush of stardom to literally this 10 minutes later...


She's already planning on what classes to sign up for next year!

Other Brother's Graduation

Saturday was a BUSY day for us! The first half of the day, we had to divide and conquer. Nathan and the kids took on an outreach project for Revolution Church, handing out bottles of water up and down the HWY 52 yard sales. They had SO much fun! And came home with lots of goodies that people were giving them just for being cute, (the kids, not Nathan lol).

I couldn't make it because Other Brother Rob was graduating that morning! Whoop whoop! He was sooo excited. And he didn't even know that in addition to all of us, he had family coming in all the way from Mississippi to see him. It was a lovely surprise... I know it meant a lot to him. Even if teenage boys don't always say it out loud.







He looked so studious and handsome in his cap and gown (and fidgety!). He was a wee bit nervous, but the rest of us were quite proud! This young man has a big life ahead of him if he will keep his eyes up and keep on dreamin'! Nathan wrote him the most encouraging words and I REALLY hope he takes them to heart.



Way to go, Robert!!!

My brave little man!

Cale's MRI was Tuesday. He really is doing SO, SO much better. I kid you not, he is a different child! But, I just knew a hospital environment was going to be more than he could handle and shoving an IV into his arm would bring back some old habits.

Alana went with us to keep both mine and Cale's nerves at bay (he ADORES her!). He, of course, had his Tony car to keep him safe, but Alana brought him another car and motorcycle to make him brave. He was a happy/distracted boy as we walked back to his bed. He was armed with toys and a tv and didn't even seem to notice everything going on around him. Already, that's a BIG deal for him! Then he let us put a gown on him without saying a word, he even told the nurse how old he was! Normally, in these situations, he doesn't speak to anyone and when he does, he isn't very kind lol. He was precious.

The nurse came by and explained that she needed to look for some little blue worms (veins) in his arms. He let her search both arms without even an ounce of protest. Then it was time, she asked him to relax so, he did! He laid back and crossed his feet to watch the tv! SO CUTE!


He LOVED the Prayer Bear Alana brought him :)
It has replaced Tiger as his bedtime friend!


He LITERALLY just laid there, completely unbothered while she stuck him five or six times trying to get the IV in his hand (unsuccessfully). He looked down to check and see what was taking so long, then looked back up at the tv. Alana and I were in SHOCK. I think I actually teared up with amazement. This is the same little boy that normally kicks and screams when doctors try to look inside his mouth or get him to stretch out his legs!

Unfortunately, she wasn't able to get the IV in his hand and was going to have to try the inside of his elbow (oooouch). He still did GREAT though, he started to say "ow, ow, ow" and then had some big crocodile tears roll down his cheeks. He got a little clingy after that, while the N.P. explained what was about to happen, but he walked down to procedure room and allowed HER to pick him up and set him up on the table. Again... wow. He watched her push the meds before he went limp in my arms and we said goodbye!





Exactly one hour later, my pager went off that he was done! They said he woke up the instant he heard them open his pretzels :)
As soon as he saw us, he asked to put his clothes on. Then he asked the nurse for his "red juice" (powerade). Once she gave it to him, he said "Thank you... I'm out of here."




I just can't believe he did SO well. I mean, I can. Because he's a miracle! I am just still so shocked by the difference. He did better than I would expect ANY child to do... much less a child who just a few weeks ago had major anxiety issues and wouldn't let unfamiliar people touch him, let alone seven different nurses!! I am soooo proud of our little man!

We should be able to call today to get the results.

Modern-day Miracles

This was committment weekend at Freedom Church. The "Building on a Dream" campaign was in full force to make more room for our children and it was time to step up and decide what we, what I, was going to do to help make that happen. I have three children back there growing in God's space and lots of other littles I care about, plus others I don't even know yet... it's important to me that they have what they need.

But there was a problem. For those of you that don't know- about two weeks ago, someone hacked into our bank account and stole every dime we had, plus an additional thousand dollars that we definitely didn't have. We LITERALLY had zero dollars. NONE. As if that whole ordeal wasn't stressful enough, how were we going to give anything on committment weekend with no money?

Then Pastor Terrell told us that the church staff was going to fast for three days before committment weekend, and pray for a miracle before committments were made. Anyone who would like to join them, could. Now that it's over, I will tell you... both for medical reasons and my weight, I am not a good candidate for fasting. And I knew it. No one wanted me to do it, but we had ZERO dollars and Building on a Dream was important, it was all I had to give. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer in the days ahead of time, making sure God and I were on the same page. I researched and looked for tips and suggestions so that I did it right and my body was safe. And then, I fasted for a miracle.

One of the websites I found suggested I begin my days with praise and worship. I took that literally and did my morning chores while belting out songs. Funny thing, I never had to think of a song. They just erupted from my smile. Same two songs over and over. Songs I haven't heard or sung in YEARS. We're talking some OLD school Jars of Clay, "Like A Child". The last time I sang that song I think I was in high school, but all the words came to me like it was yesterday.

Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear
Dear God, don't let me fall apart,
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers I can't understand

[Chorus:]

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing into the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child

[Chorus:]

Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the recklessness
I walked in light of you


They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
with faith like a child

The other one was Rich Mullins, "Verge of a Miracle". I don't know why these two songs stayed with me and decided to come out this week... but I know He does!

During meals or when I was hungry, I spent time in my bible. I kept coming back to one verse. Philippians 2:13

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him."

It became my anthem. It just put a fire inside me and reassured me that I was on the right path.

I made it through day one without much trouble at all. I was excited! Day two went well, but that I was definitely feeling tired and listless. I was getting weak and a little nauseated, not to mention frustrated that the bank had called that day to say it was going to be another 45 days before all our money was returned to us. I just kept telling myself I had made it 48 hrs, and when I woke up, it would be Thursday (the last day!) and there would only be 12 more hours or so to go.


Unfortunately, when I woke up... I was SICK. I very literally crawled out of bed and dry-heaved my way to the bathroom. Pardon the honesty. I ignored the chest pains I was having and went on to fix the kids breakfast to start our day. I faced the shower with dread, because I just knew I was going to pass out if I got in there. I had to, so I did. I buckled and had to sit down, but never actually passed out. I was getting ready to go spend the whole day outside in the sun for Layla's Field Day at school and we were expecting an 85 degree day. Taking ALL of this into consideration... I decided it would be best for me to eat something than end up in the hospital. I was bummed, but I had done my best. For 61 hours I had fasted and prayed for a miracle. I honesly believe I had given God all I had.




Miracle#1

By Thursday evening, the fast was officially over and I was starting to feel like myself again. Nathan was home sick on Friday and I was trying to get stuff done around the house. For whatever reason (wink wink, nudge nudge), he checked our bank account. OUR MONEY WAS BACK. Just two days before the bank had said it was going to take 45 DAYS and it was BACK. And no, we were not misinformed, they didn't mess up, this was GOD. And we knew why. I gave all I had and He gave back and guess what?! We were able give again! We were able to give our sacrificial gift yesterday that was not even possible two days before. And HE WILL GIVE AGAIN. It may not be to us, I hope it's to our kids! But He will give!

AMAZING.



Miracle#2

Cale.

I haven't put all of this out here yet to you all what's been going on with Cale, because it's just been a lot and we didn't really know what "it" was yet.

But now... Well, as Pastor Terrell shared with us yesterday,
"In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for ALL to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." Matthew 5:16

We have had some concerns about Cale for quite some time and have been working with his pediatrician to put a finger on those concerns. Then, after his speech evaluation and visit to the pediatric neurologist, things drastically sped up and it was time to seek a diagnosis. Due to his social anxiety issues, sensory issues, behavior outbursts, etc., we are now on a wait-list to be assessed by the CDC at Vandy for a PDD/autism dx.


HOWEVER, after three years of being an already wonderfully-made Cale, he has become a NEW child in the last two weeks. His speech/language has changed dramatically- he told us a story for the first time EVER! He has been engaging with other children very well and enjoying it(!) at birthday parties, church, playdates instead of sitting by himself or acting out. After five months in the same class, he has finally been participating in Sunday School and colored/made a craft for the last TWO weeks! Even though his issues weren't THAT extreme, this is a huge difference from just a few weeks ago!


And trust me, this was not a phase. The child has been the same sweet babe God made since birth, he has had these tendencies his whole life. But there have been people praying and praying HARD for the last few weeks. This is a miracle.


Now, that might be the end of the story, but I'm just not sure. I fasted for two and half days. God just might have half a miracle left in Him. I happen to think He does and I actually believe I already know what it is :) I'll keep you updated if He reveals it!


And just FYI, for family and friends- here's the seizure/neuro update on Cale:
MRI has been scheduled for 10:15 tomorrow a.m. at Vandy. He will be sedated. Alana is going with me (you're awesome!) since that probably won't go well, and to keep me company. I'l let you know how it goes!
EEG is next Monday.

Till Summer comes around...

We are SOO ready for (consistent) warm weather, no school, and PLAYDATES!

It was nice and hot last week for a few days while we were out of school, although the reason for being out of school is devastating. It means our city is destroyed. But since we were, we made the most of it and got out of the house for the first time in DAYS.

The kids were so excited to 1) be out of the house 2) for it to be sunny and 85 degrees outside and 3) to have a playdate with our favorite family. Trifecta!

They had the best time (so did the mommies!). All 8 of them were the most well-behaved, easy children! It is so BEYOND evident that God brought our familes together in so many different ways and it's just plain fun to watch them bond on their own. We'll be doing this a lot! :)





Brynn is attached to Addy! They STAYED hand-in-hand almost the whole time.

Cutie Patooties- Tanner and Layla

The whole gang!
Tanner, Taylor, Zeke, Wesley, Layla, Brynn, Addy, & Cale

One day.

Oh... Mother's Day. You are JUST a day. Yet, you have become almost more than I can bare!
I used to detest Mother's Day, even after I became a mother. We were spending the whole day completely stressed, nearly in tears, trying to make sure we squeezed everyone in and everyone was happy with the amount of time they were seen that day, resenting the pressure to do so, forfeiting my own day... it stunk.

But then I realized that it really isn't about that one day, it's about the relationships you have every other day. So, we started focusing on those. While we still do the best we can and try to organize that ONE day, we try not to let it consume us if we can't do it.

What does consume me is how emotional Mother's Day is for ME, without all the running around. I had the BEST day. My kids and my husband were so, so good to me. They didn't buy me anything (with the exception of a Toy Story card that plays "You've Got A Friend In Me", loooove it. Cracks us up everytime time. And Layla surprised me with the Glee Madonna cd with a little help from Ba! SO perfect!). But they made me feel so special all weekend! They made me breakfast and the sweetest cards. Even Brynn and Cale made me cards for the first time! I was so excited!! Layla wrote me a (fill-in-the-blank) poem:

My mother is the best mom in the world!
She is as pretty as a ROSE.
She smells as nice as a FLOWR. (flower)
My favorite thing she does is LAF. (laugh)
Her favorite food is SINDAMIN ROLS. (cinnamon rolls) lol. ??
She is the best at HOPING. (hopping).
I think my mom looks funny when she AX SILLY. (acts silly).
I wish my mom would SING every day.
I wouldn't trade my mom for A PUPPY DOG.
HAPPY MOTHR'S DAY!
I LOVE YOU, LAYLA

She also wrote me a note that said:
To Mommy, I want to give you this beecus I love you. I want to make you a speshul dinr tonite. We are going to have vechtubls and desrt is puding. I love you! Happy Mothr's Day!

Lol- They were all just over-the-top sweet! They learned it from their Daddy.

What a day. BUSY day. Emotional Day.
Feeling so blessed to have them. Feeling sad for birthmom, knowing she must be missing them on this day. Always feel the paradox pain of infertility/joy of motherhood on this day. Feeling Lucky. Feeling Loved. Feeling Tired. Feeling like a MOM!!!

"A mother's love liberates."
Maya Angelou

My favorite topic- NAMES!

I couldn't skip this! I'm following suit a' la Kelly's Korner, and taking an opportunity to tell you about our kids' names. Some of you, at least family and close friends, already know the reasons behind our choices, but a lot of my loyal followers may not.

Layla Paige
Layla's first name was chosen MAINLY because it was one of few her daddy would agree to! We had been discussing names since we were 16 (my favorite hobby), but Layla was never one of them. The name sort of came out of nowhere and I was hesistant to mention it to him. After a sea of "No's", I haphazardly threw it out without much hope, only to shockingly get a "Yes!" in return. She was also close to being a Lucy. I'm a HUGE fan of Lucille Ball, but we weren't telling our names and everyone was guessing that her name would be Lucy- which turned me off. Plus, she just felt like a Layla!

Other contenders were:
Audrey (Hepburn fan)
Lane (family name)
Arden (family name)
Sadie (what my grandfather used to call me)

Her middle name comes from my Aunt Paige, who's is awesome. She has THE most kind heart and is always there for her family. She has more loyal friendships than anyone I've ever known! Those are all qualities we hoped for Layla to have, so it was a perfect fit :)


Brynn Christine
Brynn is a name Nathan has always liked and has fought for. It was on my list, but not as high up as others. However, we were only given two days to name the twins, who had already had four sets of names so the pressure was ON! We already knew a little bit about their personalities and had three pictures of them. We thought Brynn sounded nice with Layla, and it was fresh and spunky just like our sassy little girl! Fits her to a T!

Originally, we had actually decided she was going to be Maya or Mia, depending on HIS name, but none of the choices we narrowed down to for him went with either of those so she became Brynn!

Christine was the name of Nathan's grandmother. Nathan adored her. He had already asked that our next daughter be named after her, and then we found out that Brynn's birthparents had given her the name Christine, so it was perfect!


Cale Benjamin
I mentioned the name Cale and Nathan loved it immediately. It was so him. When we had to pick not only two baby names, but two names that went together, we had a little trouble! We kept looking at his picture and none of the names we liked really suited him. We narrowed it down to two sets of names. We were literally pulling into our agency knowing we had to give them their names, and we didn't know what they were! But he was a Cale. There was no denying it. We made the decision as we opened the door, lol.
The other name was Boston. We still look at him sometimes and say, "You are NOT a Boston.".

Benjamin honors Nathan's younger brother, Ben. He has always been such a sweet support for us, both in our relationship and the adoption. He's one of Nathan's best friends and he's a fun uncle to our kids. He is family-oriented and he's a guys' guy! A wonderfun man for our little boy to look up to.


As for the next one, whom we are still trying to make room for...
we are actually ahead of the game! Of course, things can always change, but we actually have names chosen already AND they have been set for quite some time :)
We even have back-ups.
We'll never tell of course, lol.
But we will continue the tradition of family names, as it's very important to us.

Aaannd we'll name another 3-4 just for fun (for me... not him, ha. But he plays along REALLY well! Such a trooper!).

The last day!

We had some unfinished business at Magic Kingdom, so we headed back over (yay- my favorite!) AND Aunt Angie came! Woot. Four years is TOO long.

VERY high on our to-do list was Princess Tiana. Brynn's absolute fav and possibly replacing Ariel and Layla's fav. We waited all week to get back to see her, then waited in a very long line to see her. Unfortunately, B fell asleep in that line. So we faced the tortured question: To wake or not to wake? Brynn had really wanted to see her, so we decided to wake her.

Wrong answer.



The last day was a little disorganized, as we scurried about all over the park trying to hit everything we hadn't done the first day and everyone was just on the very last leg of energy. We gave it all we had though, soaking in every last drop. We managed to time it just right where the VERY last thing we got to was Mickey and Minnie :)

We barely made it, but what an awesome way to end our trip!



This is the kiddos in all their new Disney shirts loading up to head home! It was seriously one of THE best weeks ever. You should have been there.

Day 5- Animal Kingdom

Not surprisingly, this was Layla's faaavorite park. They offered her a job.
She has always LOVED all things animal and knows a LOT, about all different species. At one point, in the reptile house (she has always had a thing for reptiles), she named 9 different reptiles... by their skulls. That's when she got the job offer, lol.

One of the best parts of this day, was that all five kids were dressed alike! The reasons were two-fold: they looked cute AND it made them soooo easy to keep up with! Score. Maybe three-fold, because it confused the heck out of people trying to figure out who went with whom in our group, ha. Fun.



First stop, tree of life.
Notice our little creepers in the back.... dweebs.


After that, we attempted yet another show (Bug's Life) in which I had to carry both of my crying, screaming girls out. Oops. Later, we saw Nemo Live though, and they LOOOVED it! Yay!




After lunch, we did the walking Safari. It had some cool animals- personally, I LOVED the bats. I've never seen bats like this before!




The jeep safari was definitely the highlight of the day. We saw some amazing creatures upclose and personal (some a little too close... I was sure the ostrich was about to snack on my face!).



Pretty sure that this is the night that ended with the ahem, older, adults going out to dinner and then to the hot tub ALONE. While us youngins and all the kids stayed in our room and ordered pizza, lol. Can't say we blame them!

Day 4- SeaWorld

I have to finish blogging about this trip! One, because it's causing me anxiety. Two, because there is a growing list of other things I want to blog about and my OCD certainly isn't going to let that happen until this is done.

Lessons from SeaWorld:

*SeaWorld is mostly shows and very few rides (obviously), which means it works on a schedule. Keeping 15 people on a constant schedule for an entire day can be a little tricky. Our group worked best when organized, but flexible.




*There is still some debate over whether or not the meal plans at SeaWorld were worth it. Most people spent their money's worth, and it was nice just to be able to pick up drinks, etc. I, for one, would rather not even have the option of being allowed to get carrot cake AND chocolate cake.

*If you do not have room in your vehicle or hotel room for 1-4 enormous stuffed animals, DO NOT let super-star basketball players play in the arcade. They will win them.

I think I was around 10 the first time I went to SeaWorld and I left wanting to be a Marine Biologist or trainer. It had the same effect on me at 28. Oh... and I'm seriously looking into getting a sea lion for our family pet.

Day 3- Hotel Day

After two days of open to close parks, we decided to give everybody a little mid-week break and spend the day at the hotel. They had a GREAT kid pool with fun slides and waterfalls and the kids were dying to put it to use. We slept in a little bit, breakfast at IHOP, the headed to the pool.

It ended up being a little overcast that day and drizzled on us from time to time, but no one really cared. The kids were super happy, plus this was the first day they were going to get a real nap.





That evening, we had reservations at the giant ship/resturant in the middle of our hotel. So we got all fancied up for our super nice, super yummy meal. While we were waiting for our table to be ready (since we literally took up the entire back half of the ship...) we did some family photos.

My brother and his family.

My mom and step-dad with all their grand-kids.

My dad and step-mom with all their grandkids.

They were kind of over it by the time it was our turn...

Everybody!